Venting

For the most part, my blog is about celebrating the mundane, about sharing the little accomplishments of my kids, my husband, sharing my many hobbies. Right now, I need to vent about being an Army wife.

My husband works way to hard. He sucks at handling stress, too. But he's so darn anal about being the responsible one at work that he overdoes it, a lot. I'm not saying anything here that I don't say to him at the appropriate times, and he reads this nightly. He has gone into work early 3 times this week for various reasons: to get started on a long drive early and make it home in time for dinner, to get vehicles and such ready for people who are going to be there early to pick them up, things like that. He leaves before the kids even crack their eyes open... and our kids get up way early, like 5:45 early. Today he went in early, and tonight he is working late. Argh! My afternoon fantasies of perhaps ordering fried fish (a friday Wisconsin tradition we've yet experience), or having a fire out in the yard, crushed.

Being in the military means Theo can't say "no" when there is work to be done. Every day he's required to work a "normal" shift from 7:30-4:00. The reservists he works with come in one weekend a month, and he's required to be there... so already he's down to about 6 days off a month, one less weekend than the rest of the average working world. Many times those reserve weekends are overnight trips, meaning the reservists show up on Friday night, drive up 2.5 hours to the local military base, Ft. McCoy, work all day Saturday, pack up Sunday and head home. Easy enough for them, but they often overlook how much work the full-timers put in to make that one training Saturday happen. Next drill weekend, for the 3rd time this year Theo has to leave on Thursday, spending 3 nights and 4 days away from his family. When he does get home he'll be so tired he won't have energy to play with the kids, and he's back to work less than 12 hours later. It sucks. I wonder why nobody else in his unit can take this responsibility; he explained that its his job. He has 3 more of these long overnight weekends this year alone. I dread them, not just because he's gone, but that also puts me on full-time mom duty, 24 hours a day doing all the diapers, dishes, feeding, cleaning, & loving alone. Yeah, its hard.

Right now, Theo has so much work to do it's overwhelming. His former boss retired & his job is still open, and only co-worker who can fill-in on some of his responsibilities was away training for a month. Theo's given vacation days each year, but he's usually called in to randomly run reports or unlock doors for people (we live 45 minutes from his office, so this is really annoying). A few weekends ago he went in for half a day unloading vehicles. This weekend he has to attend a community event to promote the Army from 7am-8:30pm in the hot (90 degree) sun (don't we have recruitors to do this?). His responsibilities are seemingly neverending, and taxing on my nerves and his health and happiness.

Nevermind the lurking chance that he could deploy anytime again to anyplace. This is inevitable and makes everyday life both scary, but also richer... this morning when we snuggled and had 10 minutes to look into each other's eyes before the sun even rose up, I am ever-presently thinking he could be on the other side of the planet fighting, unsafe, anytime. I have figured out how to savor life. I get so little of it to spend with him in body, side-by-side.

Oh, and this sporadic schedule is part, only part, of the reason I haven't had a job in 3 years, and may never have one again. (I'm okay with this... really I love being home with my kids, and I love being a military wife--there is so much pride involved... but this blog isn't about pride, it's about how hard my husband works).

Sometimes the toughest part is watching non-military families just go about their lives, taking for granted the everyday blessings of simply having their wives or husbands come home from work.

So next time you see a soldier, or a soldier's spouse, don't flip them off like the hippies in Madison do, but thank them not only for serving oversees, but for serving all-day everyday, 24/7, without question, because they don't get overtime or real payraises, or promotions for going the extra mile.