Sunday, November 6, 2011

Me. Right now.

I love gingerbread lotion. coco madamemoiselle perfume. apple crumble air freshner. pizza. archer farms peanut butter chocolate ice cream. salad with cranberries, walnuts, goat cheese, and blush wine vinagrette. apples. apple crisp. roaming target alone. doing the elliptical at the gym. cuddling my cats. drinking more coffee than I should. I am loving my fair isle knit mukluks slipper boots, and I live in them. Am obsessed with finding the perfect mid-tone brown moccassins.

Can't live without my Old Navy fleece pants. I'd buy more if I could ever find them in stock. If I liked laundry more, I'd wear them nearly everyday. I am also loving this jumbo infinity scarf I made.

Am bored with the weather. 50 and sunny. 50 and sunny. blah blah blah. I am ready for some snow. I bought snowpants. My very first pair! Like in my whole life. I grew up So Cal- we didn't need them there. I didn't snow fall until I was 15!

I can't manage my time. I get too easily distracted. I am really struggling to work from home, and have way too much I want to do.

I am reaching a boiling point in regards to my silent illnesses. I have wanted to post that cheesey cliche little blurb on facebook about, "If you've ever known someone with a silent illness like depression, etc." So not me to post something like that, but you know what? Fibromyalgia might be the worst of them all! Sometimes, yes, I feel good enough to do a strenuous things. Somedays I go at my own pace all day and somedays I can't. That doesn't mean I'm better- I'm not healed. It doesn't mean my illness is fake. Or imagined. It isn't going anywhere, but I am striving to control it. I am so sick of the people in my life not getting this. I'm tired of explaining myself. So I am trying to just not do the things I can't- hoping everyone will come to expect less of me. I also have raynauds, si dysfunction, a bum knee, bad feet, anxiety and that-weird-named-thing where the muscles in my throat contract instead of expand. A whole slew of things you can't see. And you know what? They all suck. And my life has changed because of them. Phew, I got a little pissy there for a second, but I feel better now.

I pee too often. Is my bladder shrinking? If I was a man I would think I had prostate issues.

I am...

Addicted to pinterest.

So in love with Etsy.

Planning on learning to shoot a gun, so I can hunt with Theo next year.
Sweater obsessed.

Disliking driving.

Loving Autumn Leaves candles.

Missing having friends in my neighborhood. I miss my old house, too, but I love the one I am in as well. I guess I miss the idea of my old house. This one has the most wonderful high ceilings, big yard, porch-like front room, cool storage, and great old hard wood floors. I can't wait to have our Christmas tree in here!

Really missing having more places to shop close by! If you would have told me I would come to view Janesville, Wisconsin a mecca for shopping I probably would have hit you. Now, I have so much less to choose from. Puts a damper on my retail therapy and clearance deal thrill hunts.

Buffalo has these sweet monthly sale shops, but so far our shedule hasn't allowed me to visit them as much as I would like. The best part of town for me is the antique store. Open everyday. Reminds me of the old one in the Milton College gym.

My normal neutral is brown, but it is shifting to gray which is really causing an uproar in my closet. Think I may be having a mid life crisis. I can barely listen to country music, which for the last 7 years has been all I could listen to. I find myself drawn to folk, coffee shop music, singer songwriter stuff and anything with a great beat. Mumford and Sons, Coldplay, and oddly enough, Rihanna. I think that little guy Pitbull is hot-when my type is more Toby Keith? And my favorite right now: I love Adele. Except for the smoking, I think I'd like to be her. Am I clinging to mainstream pop culture to feel younger? Theo makes so much fun of me. He says I have terrible taste in music lately.

For some reason I am also getting into TV? I have been very anti-television for some years now. Finding the ability to sit still long enough for a tv show was just not in me, but now with knitting, I watch a lot of tv. So weird. Theo loves this!

Journals. Lists. Notepads. They litter my coffee table- which is like my office desk.

Haven't dusted since May, when we moved in. It's getting 'grody' in here.

So over cleaning.

I love chartruese. Or acid green. I am hunting for treasures made with dark yellow vintage velvet.

Knitting 8-10 hours a day, not including the time I make networking and learning and seeking inspiration. I have about 10 projects on the backburner, and about a 150 skeins of yarn waiting to be molded into the next thing. But I am so glad I took the time to knit all summer so my shop is well stocked. I have been making consistent sales, and it brings me so much joy. I am also finding all those years working in customer service have made me a pretty good little saleswoman.

After a long while of bumps in the road of life, I'm learning I'm pretty good at shrugging things off. Letting go and letting God. Trusting in a power higher than myself and my needs and my wants.

Trying to fall back in love with myself. I believe that makes me better at loving God, my family, my work, my kids, my home.

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