Thursday, February 11, 2010

Looking Upward.

In so many ways, we are looking upward around our family.

I have had a stellar week on weight watcher's. I lost 3.4 lbs this week, bringing my total weight los to 13. 6 in 6 weeks! I could not be happier. I feel encouraged to stay the course. I feel rewarded for my hard work, walking, calculating my points, avoiding temptations, staying creative enough to stick to the diet. My clothes already feel loser, and my physical therapist said my jeans looked loose. I have felt lighter, and more agile. I had a couple of hungry afternoons, but I had a snack and cleaned things to keep my mind off food, and by dinner, I felt satisfied with my given portions.

I have found the 'anchor' I was looking for, as mentioned in the previous weight watcher's blog. Last Friday I went shopping with a girlfriend who needed help picking out some clothes. I had a great time finding some amazing deals (like $7 jeans and $6 shirts and sweaters at department stores). She earned some Kohl's cash on a purchase, and gave it to me as a thank you. Hardly work, though. I love to shop, and I racked up 10,000 steps and 7 activity points!

Anyway, I was spending my Kohl's cash this week. I went straight for the jewelry clearance, b/c it is nearest the door. I had to go no further. I saw, in a large print on some packaging, a phrase about keeping your dreams close. I looked closer, and saw the item said it was sterling silver and 14k gold. I have sensitive skin, so anything I wear around my neck had to be leather, rope, beads, or gold. Some sterling silver's even do me in. I looked at the charms on the necklace, and they were a "J" and "love."

Exactly. I need to love myself, and the rest will follow. I have to love myself enough to stick to this plan, to save myself from obesity, and the health risks that come from it. I am so glad I have the insight to do this while I am still relatively young. Ah. 30.

I now have this anchor around my neck, and I can reach for it whenever I feel lost in my journey to health.

In other news, my husband has been sober for 3 weeks tomorrow. I am so proud of him!

My whole family reads this blog, so I wanted to make something very clear. Just because my husband found himself addicted to drinking alcohol, doesn't make him anything different than he was before. He is still an amazing father, a great man. He is so good to me, and the kids. He's a wonderful friend, lover, chef, housekeeper, pet owner. He is still wonderful, never losing his temper, always patient loving, and funny. My husband was never an angry drunk, or violent in anyway. He simply drank too much. He spent too much money on alcohol. He skipped bills and spent the money on alcohol. I have taken over all of the money, and used all our tax money to pay back all the bills. We are caught up, and moving forward.

I am so proud of Theo. It is like he has come back to life. His laugh is back, a true honest, free, laugh. He's been reading his daily reflections (an AA book) to me, and sharing some amazing stories and facts he's picked up at both his AA meetings, and the out-patient therapy. He's seeming more physically capable. With each step he takes towards recovery I feel less and less resentment. Healing is wonderful. This Valentine's Day will mark 9 days since the day we met, and I don't regret one single minute.

We are both loving our classes with our pastor, too. They uplift us both. So far, I'm learning so much. (My family never went to church).

Ben has taken his kindergarten aptitude test with his teacher. We are excited to hear about his results next week. He loves his new classroom; he'll be starting kindergarten next fall.

I am pretty sure, with the help of the preschool teacher, that we have decided to keep Hunter in preschool for 3 years. He is currently in his first year, and is six months younger than everyone else in his class. All the kids in class have turned 4, and he is still 3 until May 10th. It is no surprise then, that he's not developing (writing letters, cutting, etc) as fast as the older kids, nor holding his attention as long. I have been so relieved at this notion. I had already begun making the assumption that Ben would be the "smart one" and Hunter would be a "the athlete." I was comparing Hunter to Ben: What was Ben capable of at the semester break of his first year of Kindergarten? This was an unfair comparison, given the age difference. I should have known better. But, I didn't. Now, I understand my littlest baby is actually doing just fine for his age. I am excited for him, getting to be one of the older kids in the class, one of the bigger kids, instead of the smallest and youngest. Imagine, this could have affected him all his life. Good feelings here. Good.

Thank you so much for all your comments and support. I can not say this enough, the feedback is so helpful.

Will be blogging about some recent scrappy goodness, and pictures of Ben's Wrestling Party with dad soon.


Sarah said...

So happy to hear all of this, Jamie!

Misty said...

Can I just say how happy I am for you? Also maybe a bit jealous, new necklace and all. ;) Go girl, you go! (Even though no one says that anymore.)

Jamie said...

Thank you Sarah and Misty. :) I have been meaning to get a picture of the necklace... I have the worst memory.