Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Meeting Schmeeting.

So, went to my second Weight Watcher's meeting (this year, this time around). I've been tracking for 3 weeks now, but this was my first chance to weigh in and potentially lose. I tracked every bite, used my scale to weight every morsel, and measuring devices when possible, and I gained .2

If this was a few months in, I'd chalk it up to bloating (its not my time of the month), or just one of those things that happens, but the truth is- 3 weeks in, I should have lost weight, and have no reasonable answer as to why I didn't lose weight. I'm 299 lbs, and I've got plenty of it to freaking lose.

With that- there's nothing more I can do. I kind of have this attitutude that I don't have time for the bullshit.  I could beat myself up, cry, get all angry, but goodness- where would that get me? It won't change the number on the scale. And its just a number on the scale.

*I'm snapping at my family as I'm typing this because we usually eat dinner at 4:30, and it's 8:04, and I haven't had a bite to each or drink since 2pm. Remind me to vent about evening meetings and the 4 lbs difference between my weight this morning, and my weight this evening. So, sorry family, I yelled out of hunger.

So many emotions going into the meetings again that it's hard to keep it together. I look at people with these wonderful success stories, and we all clap and celebrate for them, and I used to be that person, and I hate myself for letting it all go again. I'm sitting there, the fattest of the fatties, and saying a single word in the realm of tips or advice looks moronic at best.

I just want to hurry up and get the good part again.
Tracking just the same this week. Keeping all the added fruits and veggies of last week because it really truly helped, and I hardly felt hungry all week.

Hopefully I'll be back with a great f-ing number next week.


GinaMarie1982 said...

i am so glad you posted this. this was me this past week at weigh in. i started back on weight watchers a couple weeks ago ( the 4th time around) last time on the program i ended up loosing 87 pounds in around 3 1/2 years, and this past year due to certain life events i gained almost 40 back. so it's back to the drawing board again...anyway, but to my original reason for typing.

my first weight in after the initial meeting was this past friday, so a full two weeks had passed after just starting the program. i tracked every ounce of food that went into my mouth, i wasn't over my points once, i ate (for the first time in my life) an early small healthy breakfast before work, i lived on fruits, salads, soup and veggies, and i had started back running and had worked out twice that week.

i got on that scale with so much hope and optimism of loosing and getting off to a great start. I thought " at least one pound would be wonderful"

i only lost .6

how is that possible? I can poop point .6 for christs sake. and i didn't want to hear bullcrap of "oh, be happy it's a loss" my roomate and i did the exact same thing both weeks and she lost over 5 pounds.

needless to say, i was angry, upset and even broke down and cried about it. swore i wasn't going to let myself go through and pay to see and go through that weekly.

after a lot of thought and tears, i figured i would give it one more week. one more week of doing everything right. so this friday is weigh in and i can only hope for the best.

wish me luck.


Jamie said...

I am so glad you wrote this, too. It really helps to hear that I am not alone. I love that you are giving it one more week!! Please report back with what I know will be excellent news! We can do it!

I am giving it forever. I truly have no intention of ever not tracking again. This has been a huge change for me in that I usually let the prospect of going off track linger in the back of my mind like a sweet temptation- but this time I know I can't ever, ever, ever let myself not track again. It simply doesn't work for me and will mean impending health risks, and eventually death.

Whoa, that's some serious shizz. lol. I guess I am taking my 300 lbs weight to heart. lol!