Thursday, December 31, 2009

That's a whole lotta Jamie.

So, I made it to Weight Watcher's this morning. Up at 5am, to make myself presentable, get directions, and have one cup of coffee. I spent the morning visualizing years past when I went every Friday to attend Weight Watcher's in Peoria. The same outfit until it no longer fit, the same shoes, the same one glass of water, one cup of coffee, and one bowl of oatmeal. Sometimes we saved all our points for a nice dinner out. This morning, the same. One cup of coffee and the same "jogging" (laughing) suit, and snow boots I intend to wear every day for the next few months anyway.
To my surprise I found a small meeting, and I was the only one registering for the first time. Surely, one of the only people in the world starting their new lifestyle the day before the new year begins. I quickly filled out my paperwork, and made it back to the scale with my energetic and warm meeting leader. Didn't even take the snow boots off. Weighing in a ginormous 302.something pounds. I mean, who reads after the decipal point when you're looking at that kind of number!
Oh, man. That's a whole lotta Jamie.
Here's where my wheels start spinning. Oh, yeah. The goal setting, the stubborn fight. Remember that bitch I used to be? The one who effortlessly counted points, and blazed above her own will power with superhuman ease? Yeah. I thought I had forgotten her, and would never meet her again. (She stopped into the delivery room when I was birthing Hunter with no pain meds, while my husband was in Iraq, but she was gone as soon as she came). I never stopped loving her. I knew she was in there somewhere, but my kids may have been too loud, and I just couldn't hear her. Well, hello darling. Welcome to your life's biggest challenge.
I sat in the front row, and hung my coat on the back of the chair. I felt as plump and rotund as I ever, ever have, but beaming with life and confidence. I actually though, sitting there, I have got to be the most confident 302 lbs to ever sit in a meeting like this.
Hindsight added, I was as confident as I would have been a 302 lbs woman at a baking contest, or an eating contest at that.
I'm now half way through my first day. Just had an apple and bagel with 2 tbls cream cheese and a cup of alphalpha sprouts on top. Feeling unstoppable.
Each hug and kiss from my munchkin today has felt a little like magic to help me through, too.
If your tuned in, I have a feeling you're in for an enjoyable success story.


Sarah said...

Yay for you-- a fantastic attitude, and your bagel sounded delicious.

Jamie said...

It was! :) I love sprouts.