1500 Calories? Only?

A little update on the diet progress. I have joined the YMCA, and have been working out. I'm not consistent. One week I'll go 3 times, and then next I'll only go once. But, I have been walking my one hour walk, too. I am feeling stronger. I have not been able to cut my calories. I have been baking on occasion, and eating cautiously, but just not limiting my caloric intake as much as I should.

So we have rad doctor. I really like him, and he treats us with care. He has been with me through some serious weight loss struggles. When I found out I was pregnant with Ben I cried in his patient room because I was so excited about my weight loss at the time, and I knew I would get "fat" as a pregnant woman (hormones). When it came time to weigh me for my prenatal appointments I refused to be weighed, and he practically had to yell at me to be weighed, reminding me it was for the baby. I am way too stubborn. Then, years later he was there to listen patiently when I was celebrating weight loss and simultaneously finding out I was pregnant with Hunter. Didn't cry that time. I Laughed. I mean what are the odds that the week I put on my skinniest jeans I'd find out I was pregnant again; I was on birth control for crying out loud?

Yesterday I had my yearly physical. I thought I might be pregnant; I'm off birth control and have been working out a lot and not losing any weight. I also had some other symptoms of pregnancy, like strange feelings in my stomach, tender boobas, etc. Yeah, well, I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat. Fatter than I should be. Too fat.

Well, my good doctor approached the subject peacefully, knowing my sensitivity, and there I sat crying again. I've been avoiding dieting b/c I want to get pregnant, and I don't want to lose weight and gain it all back again. How much can one woman take, going up and down 50 plus pounds over and over again. I want another baby soon. I want so bad to lose weight. I love getting exercise. I just eat too much. I can't seem to work all of these desires out harmoniously.

I have started weight watcher's more times than I can could count, hundreds. My doctor advocates calorie counting. I hate numbers, and I fight him on this every time he mentions it. He asked me try it for a month. He said if I eat 1500 calories a day I should lose 2 lbs a week. More if I cut back to 1300 calories. I told him if I eat less than 1500 calories a day I pull my hair out, and I'm bitch to live with. LOL. He handed me a food diary and told me come back in a month. He said try to lose weight until you get pregnant. When you're pregnant stop counting calories, eat sensibly, enjoy your pregnancy, and we'll start over again afterward. I fought him. I told him I would not try. I said, "I give up!" I was so snotty I even said, "I won't eat vegetables!" And at one point I wailed, "You know I'm going on vacation, don't you? You expect me to count calories on my vacation?" He peered back in the door, and said, "Yes!" with a huge smile on his face. Sniff, sniff.

Somehow the good doctor persuaded me. I went straight to Walmart and bought produce which I intend to eat this week. Yes, I'm going to eat vegetables. This morning I woke up and took out the measuring cups. I'm half way through a 1500 calorie day. The amount of calories in the food I eat have surprised me, proving this way of dieting will be very eye-opening. Yes, my stomach was gurgling with a strange feeling, perhaps hunger, before lunch time. Yes it sucked to realized the bagels in my fridge are 310 calories, sucking up a big part of my day. And yes, I've thought more than a few times how hard it will be to diet while I'm on vacation. But, I'm trying again. That's all I can do, get back on the bandwagon.

I needed something different than weight watcher's. While the diet is tried and truly the best diet available by far... I can't stick to it right now. Right now, the "newness" of this calorie counting feels like it will keep me interested. We'll see.