Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Let's give it a go!

I think I do so well in a winter dominated climate because at heart I am a homebody. There's nothing wrong with that. My home is my nest and in I can putz & fluff & feather to my heart's content. Sure when its super cold I miss the forest, I miss camping, I miss my garden, but I'm one of those people that isn't going to waste time missing things I can't have. Sometime ago the concept of appreciating what's going on around me sunk in. The idea that when it's spring you love spring, and with winter you love winter. I think of this whole idea as a lifesaver for me. There were so many days of my youth that I sat thinking about how green the grass was on the other side that I missed out on noticing the wonders around me. So now appreciate what I get. If I wake up and God gives us a day with a hundred and seven degree temperatures then that's what we get- and we find someplace to cool off. If we have  minus 50 degree wind chill we scrapbook we bake we watch movies... we make do, & we thank God for the warm house around us.

So this last couple weeks I've been thinking about the way that I take care of myself I'm trying to attach this philosophy to caring for myself. So many times I've discussed my ups and downs of weight loss on this blog... But oh well.  After doing the deprivation that was required for me to maintain a very low weight for 3 years and not allowing myself any indulgence I went to the opposite extreme and indulged for many years. I have not been able to find a happy medium. In fact it's been a dangerous little game I play where I go so far as to track my weight watchers points and fill them with all the wrong things and I lose weight and then I gain it back. We're probably at the point where I hold some sort of World Record for losing and gaining weight hundreds of pounds at a time. Something about this year has made me feel very brave and I have embarked on a total overhaul of the way I think about food. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time, but I live so much of my life in fear: Fear of death, fear of sickness, fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of being judged, fear of scrutiny, fearing failure, fearing change ... And its getting old. I'm not getting any younger I don't want to die of heart disease. Heck! I can still prevent ever getting heart disease!! There are so many things I want to do. Somewhere along the line I want to find myself on a trail in the middle of summer not huffing and puffing and wishing I could go further...  Somewhere along the line I want to have blood work done and not cross my fingers that it all comes back free and clear one more year because it's only a matter of time before it comes back terrible. I can't keep eating dozens of baked goods and the whole gallons of ice cream and maintain a weight of over 250 pounds and think that I'm going to live forever. It just ain't gonna happen.

It's also been a really long time since I've tried anything but Weight Watchers. I think a little change will do me good.

So I'm not going to fear healthy eating anymore. I don't know what came over me but I embarked on eating for my illness. I'm eating an anti-inflammatory based diet. What this means is that I am avoiding foods that cause inflammation and I am eating foods that help reduce inflammation. I think it's going to take some time to make sure that I lose weight doing the sort of eating but the overhaul it's so vast, that I'm taking it one step at a time. So at this time I'm not counting calories I am trying to pay attention to my body and stop eating when I'm full. And I am not deviating from the plan. The plan is not some rigid list of what I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; it doesn't assign numbers to foods. The fact its worse. Just kidding. It's harder and it takes a lot of creativity.

This last 7 days I have cut out almost all dairy ( I had an eighth of a cup of cheese on a salad), most sugar, gluten, all white flour,  all red meat, eggs, I more than halved my caffeine, I ate mostly organic foods, tried my very first soy based milk and coffee creamer, incorporated whole grains, and made sure to have fatty fish (and other fish), and lean chicken.  I have had absolutely no fake sugar. I think that about sums it up although it's very possible I forgot some things.

I still have a lot to figure out. I am reading food labels like its my job. Because it is. I ordered a book that is on its way. If I want to maximize my potential I have got to stop eating things that poison me.

Hopefully this helps my fibromyalgia along with my regular activity mapping- I expect to feel a million times better. I'll let you know how it goes.

For now here are few pictures of this lovely winter week we had. Lots of crafting and cleaning, reorganizing my workroom and the usual laundry and housework.

Also a quick update on my hubby: After being unable to do the last job that Theo had taken (specifically: spending a majority of his day going up and down a thin ramp was not working with his reconstructed foot, as well as holding massive carts of food with an already messed up shoulder and was causing him a great deal of pain) he has been searching full time for a new job. He has another interview tomorrow and hopefully more coming up. Please keep him and us in your prayers.

No comments: