November Chores

Last night Theo and the boys tackled the front yard leaves one more time. We rent a house on a larger lot in town, and have abouts 13 trees (if the sun was up, I'd go count!) that dump leaves all over the yard. It's wonderfully shady in spots all summer, but wow, oh wow, does it make for a month long clean up this time of year!

Lucky for Theo the neighbor accepts all leaves in his compost pile. So one a pile is made, they shove it onto a tarp, and drag it back- a lot easier than bagging for sure.

I could not resist the cliche urge to drop my knitting and take some picture of the boys in the leaf pile. When I first walked out there Hunter was pulling a classic Hunter, pouting about something or other. Arms folded tight. Lips pursed. Back to us.

He mumbled various reasons for the fit, but as soon as he saw how much fun Ben was having in the leaf pile he warmed back up and hoped none of us remembered.

Unsuspecting! Theo sneaks up and dumps leaves over Ben.


They are in there:

By, far my favorite picture of the boys in a long while.

Happy autumn!

My 7 year old knows more Spanish than me.

Lately my favorite time of the evening is when dad helps Ben do Spanish homework. There are two awesome moments.

One, when Ben has to translate the sentence, "I am a girl." Theo giggles when Ben says it, and Ben usually punches Theo.

Second, there is the sentence "What do we learn in school." Theo reads it in Spanish and asks Ben to tell him what it says in English. Ben never gets it, so theo is forced to read the sentence in English, which every single time results in Ben instead answering the question, "Math, Science, Reading... ."

Hilarious.

Ben's Birthday

It's been a month, so I should blog about Ben's Bday- since I don't see scrapbook time in my near future.

I can't quite pin down where I lost her, but at some point between losing our house, moving, and my husband being on crutches for 3 months and in a walking boot for additional one month- the Jamie of years past vanished. I've never been all put together- no, wouldn't claim that on a good day ever, but I had time to get things done. Granted, never timely- but they got done. I used to dust, and put away laundry. I can remember having a clean kitchen countertop before. I had time for crafts like making completely frivolous Victorian style cones, and hand knitting Christmas presents two years in a row. Once upon a time I made time to scrapbook everyday, and took and developed frequent pictures. And surely you've seen pictures of the birthday partys I have thrown my kids. You may not have been there to see me almost vomit when the crowds arrived, but nevertheless, partys happened.

This last summer, and into fall I could not find my footing. I still do not have everything unpacked. Some things I know are still in the boxes somewhere- travel mugs, extra tension rods, the cord to my Slice... I want to crawl into one of the boxes and not come out for awhile.

I couldn't even fathom throwing Ben a birthday party here. No way. This house feels so incomplete sometimes, and never fully straightened up. I mean, it feels like home for sure. It is cozy, and cute, and extremely liveable, but just unsettled. For example, today- I kid you not- I discovered the laundry Theo folded last night was still damp, and in a pinch to not be late getting Hunter off to school- I hung the laundry, bras and all, on various parts of my living room, and dining room furniture. Looks like a family of gypsies just passed through.

You cannot see the floor in the boys' room. And after I spend an entire day cleaning it, this happens again. And then again. I'm over it. Frankly. They have been cleaning it now- taking a few hours here and there all week. I will beg Theo to change the sheets on the bunkbed (no-no for my back), before he goes hunting this weekend. I will vaccum and swiffer up there- dust the shelves. But I don't have the time to keep this place clean- even after we purged a garage full of stuff at yard sale and thrift store dump-offs.

So, as my anxiety built for the upcoming 7th birthday of my baby boy, I was searching for a way to not have a party. Given Ben's obsession with Lego Store, the big theme park at the Mall of America sounded like the best solution. We could take him into the store to pick out legos with the money his grandma sent, and then buy ride passes and ride the day away. He loved the idea! I was so relieved, and actually thoroughly enjoyed his birthday for once. We rode the log ride over and over (they let us with the kids, so we only had to pay for their passes). They rode with dad. Ben took breaks to just sit in the lego play area and build stuff. He held my hand and slowly walked through the lego store plotting the next 16 years of lego building. A wonderful day.

Here are a few pictures.

We were all exhausted by the end of the day!

Special Boy

Hunter is so special. First, check his pjs! Glow necklace, too. Singing all the while he made this, "Hoo," (zoo) from legos with the, "Best tunnel I eh-er made, with an umbrella and tornado hy-ren, and I made it wit lots of purple. Dis guy is at the hoo, and dis ih a fish."

Super Theo

My husband is some kind of superhero, I swear. He was off Monday and woke up, unloaded the car from our weekend trip, clipped coupons, fed the kids, got Ben off to school, grocery shopped, raked, mowed half the yard, took a load of donations to a local thrift store that funds schools associated with our church, mailed an order for me, hallowed out pumpkins for carving, searched the house for costume gloves and ran around town looking for last minute replacement gloves, did a load of laundry, and trick or treated with us for a couple hours. All on a foot that was reconstructed this spring- complete with screws, plates, and cadaver bone. He's only been walking for a month now, and still experiences great fatique.

I coughed on the couch. Washed my hands. Knit. Drank Coffee.

Yesterday he worked a full day, and did & folded about 6 loads of laundry. He also put away three loads left out from last week's laundry, did homework with Ben, organized some of his hunting stuff for the upcoming opening of gun deer season, and took the trash out. I had the nerve to call and make a special request for dinner- he even ran to the store on the way home to get what we did not have. Later, he rubbed my back for a few minutes, laughed with me about our kids, listened to me rant, and saved time to cuddle. Super. Hero. I am sure I missing even more.

I am also sure he will say I made him look like a sissy, or something.

Truth is, he is more of a man than any man I've ever known.

He always calls to tell me he loves me. Or he misses me. Even when he is 3 minutes away.

He leaves every one of us satisfied, loved, warm, happy. Even the dog, and his favorite cat, Fat Toby, were fulfilled.

Sometimes I feel so undeserving. Then I remember some of the loser men I've dealt with in my life, and I am so thankful that Theo has restored my faith in man, and brought me the greatest love possible. I try and remind myself I deserve him. We deserve each other. I will avoid trying to list what exactly it is that I did to match his greatness. There is no comparison.

Here are a few shots of our family from this last weekend at a wedding in Illinois.

-Happy Fall!

Sacrifice and Opportunity, or how the fubar do working mom's do this?

As I have briefly, and randomly mentioned I have an Etsy shop where I sell my knit goods. I love being able to make cool schtuff, and sell it to people all over the world. I love knitting. I love yarn. I love the concept of Etsy- that handmade or vintage finds from my very home can be sold anywhere at anytime. Pretty much safe to say, I'd rather be knitting and creating for Etsy than just about anything else- if I had 10 sets of hands, I would have a thousand things in my shop, or in gift bags on their way to your doorstep.

That being said, I have been given a great chance to knit some bulk orders, and have real deadlines for the first time, in like, 10 years. I think my last deadline was my comps defense in graduate school. Other than maybe get the kids outta diapers before college type-a dealines. I have anxiety. Legit anxiety. The kind I take pills for. And I don't do well under pressure of any sort.

I have always had some sort of anxiety. I used to get all pukey at every birthday party thrown for me (now I get all pukey getting my kids parties ready). Travelling, I overprepare and make a hundred lists and basically lose sleep over silliness and totally do not enjoy myself the entire time until I am back home-even then I freak because the unpacking sucks, etc.. Having to be somewhere at any given certain time dressed and presentable sends me into panic. Slippers, sweater, and school drop off are about all I can handle, and that is only two days a week. I have hardly told anyone, but I used to get hives or intense anxiety before performing- and I have done A LOT of performing. By college I figured out how to use my anxiety to win/exceed, but then in graduate school I lost that all again. Perfhaps 2 years where my only audience was college freshmen did a permanent number on my self-esteem. Or maybe no longer getting trophies for my accomplishments psychologically messed me up forever. In fact, if I never spoke in front of a crowd again, I'd be cool.

No, I've nurtured other creative habits instead. Like my garden- where it's just me and the hummingbirds and butterflies (and snakes here in Minnesota! Ack!). And other handicrfafts like knitting. So here I am with a chance to financially contribute to the household income a tinge, and my life is falling apart.

Dramatic much?

I can't seem to make it all work. I knit over 8 hours a day, give or take breaks to browse the internet (the key to Etsy success lies heavily no how active you are on the site, so I try and spend at least an hour a day there). I clean up. I clean myself. And around me the house seems to be crumbling.

My husband is pretty darn awesome. He cooks alot, cleans up in his own way. He's starting doing all the grocery shopping, and he takes all responsibility off of me in the mornings when my fibromyalgia stiffness and brain fog seem to peak. He does Ben's lunch, and makes the kids a quick breakfast. My kids are pretty great most of the time, too. Cleaning up their messes- but also duping me (How many times in recent weeks have I opened a closet, locker, drawer, tub, etc. to find a smattering of misplaced items they "cleaned" up?)

I feel like I am losing total control, control I never really had. The scholar in me remembers all those stories about women who sacrificed their own wants and desires for their families. The fact is, the gender roles in this house are pretty great. I do some manly stuff, he does some womanly stuff, so much so that I assume my kids will grow up with a very new and schewed view of traditional familial gender roles. My kids aren't freeloading little weasels, they do their part and then some. They really stepped up while my husband was on crutches for 3 months this summer, and have not stepped down yet. My fibromyalgia factors in here tenfold. If I want to do more, I have to do more. I simply can't. Between recently joining a gym (in an effort to lose the 100+ lbs I can't seem to get off), and having responsibilities to my garden, my family, my house, etc.

So what's gotta give? If I'm not willing or able to give myself?

I simply can't walk away from my work. I want to make my shop as successful as possible, within means. This is a great opportunity for me. In the meantime... I'm failing to strike a balance.

Lego Boy

Today ben is excited to gave started building a water treatment plant. He is super excited that the guy is looking for the water leak. Next he is using an old toilet paper roll as the largest pipe. I hope when he is all grown up that he still thinks work is cool.

Still Etsy-in'

I am really enjoying the Etsy shop, jamiesierraknits this fall. I have set aside time everyday to create. I am finding it so therapuetic, and fulfilling. I have been experimenting with new yarns, and items, and am really proud of what I am creating. Don't forget, I make custom items when I can.
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Here are some of things I have made in the last couple weeks.

Happy Autumn!

New Schools

Pretty much all the worrying I did about moving to Minnesota was a waste of time. Sure, I miss our home, and my garden, and a lot of other things about Wisconsin, but with a little bit of effort I have been able to accept the fact that we had to a deed in lieu of foreclosure on our house. In fact, pending all future landlords overlook our poopy credit (thanks, economy!), I am okay with renting until Theo retires in about 12-13 years.

One of my biggest worries was the kids having to change schools. Outside of the normal transitions from grade to middle, etc, I changed schools once, moving from California and Illinois. I am pretty sure I still bear the scars of the culture shock. Ha! But seriously, Ben had made great friends with his kindergarten class of 4 students, and Hunter was looking forward to going to Kindergarten with his friends from preschool. I also had fallen in love with the school both boys would be in.

But here we are, into midterm report cards in Minnesota, and we are so well adjusted. The kids both love their school. We transferred our church membership and stayed in the same synod, and therefore were able to keep the kids in a Lutheran school. Ben got his first report card this week, and he got straight A's. He's loving first grade. He has lots of friends, and has his first forensics night coming up. I am so stoked that the school requires even first graders to get up and read a story! Ben has been practicing great.

Hunter has also bee enjoying his class. I think a change of scenery has helped make this 3rd year of preschool more fun for him. He goes two days a week for about 4 hours. He loves that sometimes he gets to see his brother. He fits in size and maturity wise well, helping me feel good about my decision to keep him from starting kindergarten this year.

I also love the teachers, the office staff, the school, the people. It really feels like we fit. My very favorite part of it all? Ben's bus picks him up at the front door, and drops him off there. I don't like driving at all, and this saves me an hour of driving a day! (The school is 20-25 minutes away).

Because I finally have a computer in my home again, I decided to unload the camera and share some real photos of their first day of school last month. Hunter started about a week after Ben. Here they both are, in front of the Castor Beans I have growing in the driveway, on Hunter's first day.

Here is Ben.

Ben is absolutely obsessed with having his own locker! So much so that he coaxed Grandma into getting him lockers at home, too!

Hope you are all having a great school year!

Giggles

Hunter and I can't stop laughing at School Bus the cat this morning.

Moved in. Almost.

Ever tried to unpack without help? Yeah, wouldn't suggest it.  I'm wiped. And totally not done. Lol. My husband had cadaver bone fused into his foot two months ago, about a week after we moved to Minnesota. For one more month he's unable to put any weight on his foot, so I keep trucking. I am trying to accept certain things will have to wait, trying to praise my accomplishments thus far.  Here are a few pictures of the place so far.

Green Bubbles

So, grandma sent these green bubbles. Aren't they awesome...

I turned my back for a second, and whoa.

Ben's in background, "Mom, they said WASHABLE green bubbles!" They stained the deck pretty good, but they came right off the kid and the plastic table in the background. lol.

I love my life.

Scrap-tack-u-lous-ness

All this rain has me going crazy! I love rain, and as a gardener, it makes my life easier. Just so happens that I'm trying to transplant a good portion of my garden, and I'd like to get everything potted up while it is just breaking dormancy- and mother nature will just not stop dumping rain on us. I've been living in muddy boots and clothes- even grocery shopping in them, because the second the rain stops, I run out and get a little work done. Last night, I even had mud in my hair before I showered. So silly.

But yesterday, the rain was just too much- lasting too long. I did my household chores, and found myself standing here with nothing to do. Scrap!

I found these two layouts from my last scrap-time, and thought I'd share it. I love the colorful boyish papers on the market right now, and my mom bought me some Ali Edwards stamps I am LOVING playing with.

I made this lengthy layout yesterday. This is one of my favorite kinds- stream of consciousness journaling about one of the kids to capture his essence at the time. I'm certain in 20 years I will cherish these layouts.

And this fun one of for the 2011 family album, documenting something the boys do all the time now- play legos together, build something, and come together to share the story.

Happy spring everyone!

Relaxing Easter!

We headed down to Pekin, Il for a nice visit with Theo's side of the family from last Thursday until yesterday. We had planned on returning Sunday morning early so Theo could head back to Minnesota for a early flight to Phoenix Monday, but while mowing his mom's lawn a rock hit our car window and shattered it to bits. All the window distributors were closed all weekend, so we were "stuck" relaxing a bit more, and spending more time together. Costly, but we're all better now.

While there we celebrated an early birthday for this little lump:

Everyone came over for an Easter style dinner with ham and hot potato casserole. I made this over-the-top bunny cake with a foot of frosting on top. Hunter enjoyed playing baseball with daddy and his Uncle Trash, and having a water gun fight with his brother aunt, and cousin. We (mom and dad) got Hunter a grown-up adjustable T for batting practice. He played with it all week long, between rain showers. He also marched around in his new Buzz Lightyear flip flops, belt, and tennis shoes care of Memaw.

Sunday morning the big Bunny delivered some generous baskets full of trinkets and candy. Notice Hunter's huge mouthful of cadbury egg?

My generous sons each gave me one of their Cadbury eggs. Not the least of the reasons I began weight watching again this morning, for the first time in months. Feels good to get this first day over with. The boys have been enjoying the markers the bunny brought- as well as work books about cool stuff, like Jesus, Math and Scooby Doo.

Speaking of Scooby- we've begun planning Hunter's at-home-with-kids-from-school birthday party and he asked for a Scooby theme. Grandma Anita ordered plates, etc. and a pinata, and even treated Benjamin to a Shaggy costume to wear. Wow, right?

Oh, and here's a grainy cell phone picture of the house we will be officially renting in Minnesota. Theo gets the keys in a few short days. So excited to have a cottage to go with my cottage style garden and style. We move up at the end of the school year- about one month from now. CAN'T WAIT!!

Happy Spring!

Funny Conversations.

Awesome conversation in the car this morning with Hunter Joe after we dropped of Ben at school. H: Mom, when I g-wow up who is gonna be my mom? Me: I'm always going to be your mom. You only get one mom. When you grow up you don't live with your mom, you live with your wife and make a family of your own. H: How do we know who our wife ih gonna be? Me: When you grow up, you go out and meet people, and when you find someone you really like, and you get along with well, you ask them to be your wife. H: How do you know? Me: You just feel right together, you enjoy them. H: Is it duh ring? Me: Oh, yes, you know if someone is already married if they have a ring on. Yes. H: What ih day are already married? Me: Then you don't ask them. Wondering if I should have elaborated on this. H: Duh Daphne have a ring on? Referencing some recent pictures he saw of Scooby, Shaggy, and Daphne at Universal Studios with Flat Stanley and Grandma. He's been talking about how pretty Daphne is for the last 24 hours. Me: Laughing. No, I don't think so, Hunter. H: Okay, well, I will look when I am there. Me: Okay. pauses H: Daphne is already married. She ih married to Freddy. Me: Oh yeah? Did you see them get married? H: No. You juh know, mom. Later. H: Mom, do grown-up-ez ever get wii taken away for the ret of the day? Me: laughing No, grown ups can do what they want. They don't get in trouble. H: I want to be a grown-up den. Even Later. H: Mom, I don't wanna die. Me: You won't any time soon. You could live a long, long time. H: Like a thousand? Me: No, but some people live longer than a 100 years. H: How long ih that? A long time. Me: Yes, that's a pretty long time. Going inside we see a man walking his tiny dog. H: Mom, dat dog is so cute. It ih tiny. Me: Yeah. H: Why are all dogs different? Waura is not dat mall. Me: All dogs are different sizes and shapes, just like people. H: Yeah, like on wii. Duh people are all dih-ent. Some have gray faces, and peach faces. Right? Me: Right. At home later. H: Mom. Daphne is prettier dan you. Me: Yes, she is.

A teachable moment.

All afternoon I was very frustrated with Hunter Joe. He simply was not listening to me. He left trash on the living room floor, and I had to ask him to pick up something else 3-4 times. He talked back to me pretty intently, and I had my last straw- I sent him upstairs to give me some air. He drew me a picture, and wrote some awesome words. He brought it downstairs, and I praised it accordingly, and thanked him. He then got in trouble one more time, turned right around and ripped up picture he had just made me, and stomped up the stairs. I let him know it hurt my feelings. He remade the picture and brought it downstairs to apologize, and Ben followed him with his own two cents: Ben wrote a note with a peace offering, "I wish we there was a time we could all just play together." So cute. I told him maybe if we had time left in the day after they took a bath, and I showered, we would. He climbed in the tub and looked up at me and said, "Mommy, can't you just take a quick shower, so we have time to play?" I explained, "Mommy's a lady, and we rarely take short showers. We take longer. I have all my hair to wash and everything... " He cut me off, "Maybe if you were a little bit thinner... you could save just a little bit of time." Wow. Poor kid. He doesn't know any better. But what a day to say that to me, right? I took a deep breath, and thought about what to say. I knelt down, and I told him it was not okay to ever make a comment about a women's body size. I added, "Everybodys' body is different. My body is beautiful just the way it is. My belly grew two perfect babies. Daddy loves my body just the way it is, too. You should never tell a woman that she is too big or thin. Ever. Okay?" He nodded, and looked at me a little crazy.

Fighting Mad.

As you know, the Army moved Theo from his job here in Madison to one in Buffalo, Minnesota at the end of January. We were forced to sell our home, found some wonderful buyers who love it, despite its flaws- and made an offer the second day it was listed. All was going wonderful, and everything the inspector mentioned the buyers were okay with. Many days had passed, and we decided it was time to make an offer on a home in Buffalo. Life was looking pretty peachy. I pulled out my garden sketchbook and began plans. I showed the kids cool options for their own rooms finally- a Buzz colored room, and a place for all Ben's lego creations where his brother couldn't get em. Then... The buyer's bank's appraiser came in and said the house was worth about $26, 000 less than the buyers were willing to pay. 6 Years ago we paid $109,000 for our home. Our full asking price to sell this house was $110,00, the buyers offered 110,000, but because the appraiser says our home is only worth somewhere around $84,000, the bank can only give the buyers a loan for that amount. The market here is awful- and almost all sales are short sales. This forces us to either the keep the house, and live apart from Theo- which is not fair to Theo or the kids, or me- because I'm over being a single mom and spending $150 on gas every weekend for Theo to be here for less than 48 hours. Or sell it. We can't rent it out, because it apparently needs repairs (according to the inspector and appraiser) that would need to be fixed before it could be rented. On top of that- we're going to be living 7 hours away, and don't feel comfortable being lanlords from so far away. We thought we'd found the solution in something called a VA compromise- We used a VA loan to purchase our home, and they've created this compromise to help military folks who are forced to sell their homes in less than ideal market conditions. It looked the VA covered the amount between what we owed and what the buyers are paying, and we did not have to take a hit to our credit. Ride the rollercoaster with me... Not so. VA compromose hits our credit just like a short sale- so that pre-approval for a home loan that we had is now gone. No matter what your credit is, you are not allowed to purchase a home for 2 years, sometimes 3, after a short sale. Devastated doesn't begin to cover it. Angry, bitter, confused, nerve-wrecked, shaken, hurt, heart-broken, unnerved, spitting, fighting, mad. We've spent the last year and half building up our credit after my husband got sober. We've paid our bills, even when it meant we had $.30 left in the bank every two weeks. We've sacrificed so much- not having enough money to go to California to say goodbye to my grandpa, or being to able to go out give my grandma a hug at his funeral because we put every penny we had into getting this house ready to sell- and now that was a waste of time. I'd like to thank the folks who foreclosed on their homes all around our town for screwing over the people who paid their bills, and making the market value of homes in Milton "40% than it was 6 years ago," according to that lovely appraiser. Now, we will have to rent a home. Not the end of the world, except when you consider we have pets and I'm a gardener. I'm not a one bed of flowers kind of gardener, but more of a massive rip up all the lawn type. I'm unwilling to budge on the gardening thing... it's as much a part of me as my hair, or my kids. I know how childish and unnreal this sounds, but gardening is a part of me, and if I can't have my own patch a dirt, I don't want anything at all. Period. And I don't want to just keep my plants alive until we get a house in a few years, it's not that, I want to tend to them every day I want to kneal down and watch God's miracles as they evolve and grow, and share their beauty with me. I live for my garden- for the physical aspect, the teaching, the wildlife. Some people watch TV at night, I garden with my headlamp until I can't see. I spend a 100 hours a week, however I need to come by them, in my garden come spring. My kids grow their own stuff and are always out there with me. Dirt runs through my veins, and my kid's veins now, too. I feel like this- this not haing a garden after having a massive, extensive garden with thousands of hours of labor and love, hundreds of roses, hundreds of perennials (most raised from seed), and shrubs- I feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart and left me bleeding. I feel like I'm drowning. We will have to get rid of some of our pets. The Humane Society isn't even accepting cats, so I don't know exactly where we're supposed to take them- or if I even can bring myself to do it? Am is supposed to dump my pet, my family member, in the woods? Leave em' in a box on the doorstep the Humane Society in the middle of the night? Why not just shoot me? Just thinking about it makes me sick. Nevermind the process of telling my kids they have to get rid of their pets! A little mercy would be nice. None of this is really our fault. We bought a house like many young couples did, and at the time, it was a wise choice. I believe, in military circumstances, we should be allowed to not take the hit on our credit. Like I said, mercy would be nice. It's not like we're asking for much. We don't need some fancy home- we were offering on the most plain house you've ever seen. We don't need lake frontage, or granite countertops. We don't need 3 car heated garages or fancy pools or fountains. I'd settle for 4 walls and some freakin' dirt. A simple $118,000 home- so small in our world, nothing to most of the banks who are punishing us. The balls rolling with the short sale and my husband calls the bank to ask some questions and they told him they won't approve a short sale until the house has been on the market for 90 days- so now we're being penalized for having a buyer? Seriously... what is wrong with our country? This doesn't make any sense! They are going to end up getting nothing but a trashed house in foreclosure if they don't take this offer- don't they realize that? A few ago, I didn't understand why people did that when they lost their homes, but now I feel like I'll need to sell the fixtures just so we don't end up homeless. I'm not going to just sit here while my husband lives in his office on a cot in Minnesota? Sweet heaven, I am so over this! So, that's where we're at folks. The whole story. Fun, isn't it?

Spring Day!

I turned 32 earlier this week, but Theo was working in Minnesota- so we celebrated today. He made me a huge dinner (anything I wanted, he said!) of BBQ'd chicken, pasta salad with sun dried tomato and artichokes, stuffed mushrooms, and potato salad- so delicious. Tons leftover for tomorrow's brats, too. Yum. And it would not be my birthday without a rainbow chip frosted cake. I worked in the yard all day long- said hello to a ton of perennials and bulbs coming up. I woke up at 1:50 am, and I'm still sitting her typing at almost 8pm. Wild what digging in the dirt does to me, makes me feel alive. She enjoyed the spring day with a sunbath also. Our Laura Lu. And these two made the most adorable birthday cards for me- I will hav to photograph the and post them here soon. Adorable! Happy spring!