Our Winter Games.

We have been so blessed to have another snow filled winter. My boys love the snow so much. They beg to go sledding all the time. Theo has a 4-day weekend now, so we made sure to plan some sledding. This morning, the boys barely made it to 9:30 before they were putting their snow pants over their pajamas!
Love Ben's face here.

Rosy cheeks. It was 19F degrees out. We mentioned that to Ben, and he said, "I love 19 degrees!
"

Little Hunter man.



A little Valentine's love in some uncharted snow.

My gloves, holding my coffe, watching the kiddos.

I love walking in fresh snow.

I found these shadows so beautiful.

I went for a little trek while the boys played, and was pleased to find the snow glistening like glitter! Not just glitter, but mica flake glitter that only a crafter and collector could appreciate! lol.

Ben speeds down the hill. This snow was very slick!

Hunter hauling his sled back up the hill.

Coming down.

A path in the snow.

Crashing and laughing.

Hunter says, again and again, "I want to stay here fo-ev-ah."

Ben's so invigorated by sledding!

Racing back up the hill.

I had to show you my adorable Valentine's Day gloves. I found them 5 years ago for $1 at a box store.

Dad and the boys.

And finally, my favorite pictures from the day! Our family pictures! It has been since September since we were all in a photo together. I brought the tripod out to the sledding hill with us. So pleased with how these turned out. I can't wait to frame one.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, again!

A Little Valentine's Love

Valentine's Day is technically two days away, but I am feeling the spirit. I have taken a few snapshots of my boys around the house in the last week, and I thought I'd share them now.

Here are Ben and Dad, resting in the middle of wrestling.

Here is Ben in all his happy glory.

Hunter wasn't feeling super, so he laid on the couch. He looks so adorable, and delicious, all snuggled up and droopy. I can'r resist cuddling him. He'll say, "I want to huddle hum-one. A big people."

Here is Hunter up to his neck in Dad's Santa sleepshorts.

Ben and a recent puzzle. We have been organizing the puzzle basket all week long. I can't even see the dining room table. Ben has been a tremendous help.

Here is Hunter chowing on the Vanilla Marshmellow Peeps from Grandma. I love how he ate the tops off the hearts.

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours.

Looking Upward.

In so many ways, we are looking upward around our family.

I have had a stellar week on weight watcher's. I lost 3.4 lbs this week, bringing my total weight los to 13. 6 in 6 weeks! I could not be happier. I feel encouraged to stay the course. I feel rewarded for my hard work, walking, calculating my points, avoiding temptations, staying creative enough to stick to the diet. My clothes already feel loser, and my physical therapist said my jeans looked loose. I have felt lighter, and more agile. I had a couple of hungry afternoons, but I had a snack and cleaned things to keep my mind off food, and by dinner, I felt satisfied with my given portions.

I have found the 'anchor' I was looking for, as mentioned in the previous weight watcher's blog. Last Friday I went shopping with a girlfriend who needed help picking out some clothes. I had a great time finding some amazing deals (like $7 jeans and $6 shirts and sweaters at department stores). She earned some Kohl's cash on a purchase, and gave it to me as a thank you. Hardly work, though. I love to shop, and I racked up 10,000 steps and 7 activity points!

Anyway, I was spending my Kohl's cash this week. I went straight for the jewelry clearance, b/c it is nearest the door. I had to go no further. I saw, in a large print on some packaging, a phrase about keeping your dreams close. I looked closer, and saw the item said it was sterling silver and 14k gold. I have sensitive skin, so anything I wear around my neck had to be leather, rope, beads, or gold. Some sterling silver's even do me in. I looked at the charms on the necklace, and they were a "J" and "love."

Exactly. I need to love myself, and the rest will follow. I have to love myself enough to stick to this plan, to save myself from obesity, and the health risks that come from it. I am so glad I have the insight to do this while I am still relatively young. Ah. 30.

I now have this anchor around my neck, and I can reach for it whenever I feel lost in my journey to health.

In other news, my husband has been sober for 3 weeks tomorrow. I am so proud of him!

My whole family reads this blog, so I wanted to make something very clear. Just because my husband found himself addicted to drinking alcohol, doesn't make him anything different than he was before. He is still an amazing father, a great man. He is so good to me, and the kids. He's a wonderful friend, lover, chef, housekeeper, pet owner. He is still wonderful, never losing his temper, always patient loving, and funny. My husband was never an angry drunk, or violent in anyway. He simply drank too much. He spent too much money on alcohol. He skipped bills and spent the money on alcohol. I have taken over all of the money, and used all our tax money to pay back all the bills. We are caught up, and moving forward.

I am so proud of Theo. It is like he has come back to life. His laugh is back, a true honest, free, laugh. He's been reading his daily reflections (an AA book) to me, and sharing some amazing stories and facts he's picked up at both his AA meetings, and the out-patient therapy. He's seeming more physically capable. With each step he takes towards recovery I feel less and less resentment. Healing is wonderful. This Valentine's Day will mark 9 days since the day we met, and I don't regret one single minute.

We are both loving our classes with our pastor, too. They uplift us both. So far, I'm learning so much. (My family never went to church).

Ben has taken his kindergarten aptitude test with his teacher. We are excited to hear about his results next week. He loves his new classroom; he'll be starting kindergarten next fall.

I am pretty sure, with the help of the preschool teacher, that we have decided to keep Hunter in preschool for 3 years. He is currently in his first year, and is six months younger than everyone else in his class. All the kids in class have turned 4, and he is still 3 until May 10th. It is no surprise then, that he's not developing (writing letters, cutting, etc) as fast as the older kids, nor holding his attention as long. I have been so relieved at this notion. I had already begun making the assumption that Ben would be the "smart one" and Hunter would be a "the athlete." I was comparing Hunter to Ben: What was Ben capable of at the semester break of his first year of Kindergarten? This was an unfair comparison, given the age difference. I should have known better. But, I didn't. Now, I understand my littlest baby is actually doing just fine for his age. I am excited for him, getting to be one of the older kids in the class, one of the bigger kids, instead of the smallest and youngest. Imagine, this could have affected him all his life. Good feelings here. Good.

Thank you so much for all your comments and support. I can not say this enough, the feedback is so helpful.

Will be blogging about some recent scrappy goodness, and pictures of Ben's Wrestling Party with dad soon.

Cloudy Thoughts

I went to my weekly Weight Watcher's meeting Thursday morning. I lost another .6 lbs, with my total weight loss since December 31st (5 weeks) at 10.2 lbs. I am happy I have lost an average of 2 lbs per week, which is very healthy, but, honestly, I am disappointed with my results.

I started this program weighing 302.3 lbs. By far the heaviest I ever been in my life by 30 + lbs. Even when I gave birth to my kids I weighed only 264. Only, lol. I have followed the plan, never deviated from my points. I've measured. I've focused on filling foods, and eaten my veggies. I guess, I would just expect that the weight would come off a little quicker. I know averaging 2 lbs a week is healthy and attainable goal, but secretly, inside, I was hoping the first month would give me a little extra lost weight to boost my ego, motivate me, make me feel like a champion again.

These last two weeks have been rough, to say the least. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. I am usually very in touch with my feelings, and right now, I'm confused, and not quite sure what I feel. The heightened emotions I have been feeling have created this "lump" in my stomach, where I feel like I'm storing water or worry, or both. Hard to explain, but I think the stress is causing me to bloat. The drive I had the first 3 weeks has been run over by my circumstances.

A few feelings I have I know for sure:
I'm angry my husband is an alcoholic.
I'm angry he spent all our money on alcohol.
I'm so disappointed that we don't have any money.
I am proud he is changing and I want to support him, but I have a lot to learn.
I am angry my back is injured, and some days I can't do even the most simple things.
I am frustrated, and feeling very much confused and unfocused.
My focus and my emotions are cloudy.
I want instant results in weight loss, and am frustrated that I can't have them.
I am struggling with the vast road in front of me, it feels like this weight loss may take forever.
I am anxious.
I hate math, and taking over the family finances is stressing me out.
I also have cabin fever.

This week's Weight Watcher's "Tools for Living," presented us with 3 sheets of paper, with 3 different concepts, all meant to challenge us to stay motivated, or get re-motivated. I was shocked to see how much I struggled to come up with the words to fill out the questions. Me, without words? It only took typing them out here to find my words. Thank goodness!

A) Motivating Strategy

1. Imagine yourself having already achieved your winning outcomes. Where are you? What are you doing, hearing, wearing, etc. ? I am with my kids, am a positive example. I am able to run, climb the sledding hill over and over, wear a bathing suit and go through the sprinklers, and make and eat healthy snacks. I am a jeans and t-shirt mom, wearing colors and textures that express who I am. I am someone my husband wants to love and take good care of. I am smiling, and carefree, and I feel like I can do anything. I am free from the fat and some of the back pain that traps me. Okay, this one was pretty clear.

2. Think about how you'll feel when you achieve your goal. What does success feel like? I honestly barely remember what success feels like. I think it feels like self-respect. Pride. Like I'm full of life.

3. Keep those good feelings close as you practice the bahviors you know will help you make your prgress toward your weight goal. What are some of those other behaviors? Eating healthy snacks, meals, portions. Carrying a water bottle again, and drinking it frequently. Doing what I can for myself, without help, within the limits of my back pain restrictions. Dreaming about a healthy life, and staying focused on how that life will feel, while being mindful of the reasons I want to leave the past behind.

B) Positive Self-Talking

Negative v. Positive Thoughts

1. I can't do this. I can do this. I have done this before. I have all the knowledge I need to achieve health. It's not that hard. Things are only as hard as I let them be. I can control the significance of food and overeating in my life. I am focused.

2. I'll never reach my weight goal. While my weight goal may seem so far away, I can only reach it by staying on the plan. I can't control the pace at which I achieve my goal, but I can control whether I work towards or away from the goal. Towards is always better. Make smaller goals to achieve along the way.

3. I can't say no to food. I can say no. I've done this before. It's not that hard. It is worth it in the end.

C) Anchoring

1. Identify the inner source you need to handle a challenging situation.
the phrase, "I can do anything."

2. Remember a time when you had this inner resource, as vividly as you can.

I hate to go to deep here, kids, but I must. I remember my anchor, my quiet vision to keep me going last time I was on Weight Watcher's. I had been a fat girl my whole life, not one day slim, ever. My anchor was this dream of thinness, this diluted fantasy that being thin would some how open new doors for me, make me someone different, change everything. I thought I could wear a bathing suit without fear. I thought I could look good everyday. I was determined to be this superwoman I saw in my mind, and I used the general feeling of "I can do anything!" to achieve success.

After losing 100 lbs, and keeping it off for 3 years, I sadly learned thin me was the same as fat me. Sure I was more organized, and I could run, but not much else changed for the better. I had no idea how to dress my new body. I had to relearn to live life with smaller than average breasts (I went from 42DD to 34B). I was looked at by men in ways I had never experienced, and it made me uncomfortable on many levels. My hair was thinner, and my face wasn't as pretty. I never relaxed because I was always counting every bite of food I put into my mouth, every single day, including my wedding day, honeymoon, graduation from graduate school, birthdays. Every morsel had a points value, and my quality of life was altered because of it.

Everyday required absurd hours of activity to maintain fitness. I never made the WW suggested weight of 155lbs naturally, so I took these dangerous diet pills and made the weight, only to make myself quite sick. My body fat percentage went down to something wild, like 9%, which I was told was a number that could be found on an anorexic. The night my husband proposed to me I had skipped dinner and taken diet pills, so I could "save calories" for Thanksgiving the following day. Dumb! I was so sick it felt like my stomach was eating itself; he barely had the chance to set up the proposal scene, and after I said yes, in the most romantic, candle-lit, rose petal covered room, I fell asleep. I quit the diet pills a month later, and stayed about 5-12 lbs above the weight watcher's suggested weight it for 3 years, ultimately feeling like a failure. I wore a bathing suit without a cover maybe 2 times. My body was still the same as it was when I was fat, pock marked, stretch marked, unsmooth, bumpy, akward, and course in spots. Being thin did not give me a nice magazine body, it gave me the same body, just smaller. The most screwed up part? When I looked in the mirror, I had trouble seeing myself, I only saw the former me. Imagine the lack of identity you feel to not recognize your own reflection in a store window's glass, even after a double-take.

The most startling aspect of being thin? I did not feel that much better. I could go farther, hiking huge waterfalls, and running at the gym in the morning, walking almost constantly with ease. But, I still had back problems. When you have disk issues, they don't go away, no matter your size. I also had the most odd discovery through an MRI. Apparently, I born defective: my coccyx (tailbone) is a funny shape. If I sat on a hard surface when I was thin, the bone would literally poke through my skin and cut me! Painful! They told me to buy a coccyx cushion and carry it with me everywhere, and I laughed... I had one of those, 100lbs ago! To this day my husband calls me "chicken," a nickname that came from my bony legs and "chicken butt" when I was thin. When I sat on his lap, my curved coccyx would poke him, prompting the playful name. Nice, huh?

In sum, being thin did not make me happy. It sent me into an identity crisis, and left me confused, disillisioned, and spastic.

3. Chose an anchor (an object, mental picture, gesture, or word) that will bring you back to that time and resource in an instant.

So, what do I use as an inner resource this time around? I'm not sure, but I think, ability. Maybe health. Both? I'm no fool. I know 300lbs has never been a healthy weight for anyone. But somewhere around 200lbs or so I had great cholestrol, physical strength, muscles, and enough padding to keep my coccyx inside my body. lol. No kidding, I look pretty great at 200lbs. In fact, I met my husband at that size. I wear a 14/16 at 200lbs, which is close to the size of the average American woman. I can shoot for average, because "average" is spectacular for me.
My anchor is a visual of this fitter, more healthy, realistic me. I am playing with my kids. I am running with them, hiking, skating, and eating birthday cake. The cake part is important, because I want to be able to lead a normal life, not depriving myself of controlled indulgences. I am also wearing this pair of jeans I have in the closet. I am beautiful. I am lighter, more free, more movable, moving, I am smiling, and content, and celebrating.

4. When you need that inner resource, touch, say, or see the anchor and remember again a time when you had that strong inner resource.

I am digging out the jeans today, and hanging them up somewhere. Perhaps the kitchen. lol.

This week I know I must:
Reward my successes emotionally, by allowing myself joy despite the circumstances.
Count my points closely, remeasuring, and double-checking.
**note: I started this one already and found the amount of milk I have been putting in my cereal each morning is 4 pts, and I've been counting it as 2 points. Since I have this exact thing every morning, this very well may be why I have not lost more weight in the last 2 weeks. A one-time mistake like this would not be a deal breaker, but I have been eating 2 pts more than I should have every day, which can definately slow things up.
Keep walking as much as I can.
Do all of my physical therapy.
Re-gain focus. Maintain the focused feeling.

So jealous of the girlie scraps!

I've been fighting a cold the last two days, and I've decided rest is necessary. I get bored just laying around, so I love to explore the web. I keep extensive bookmarks when I find things I like. My favorites bar runs across the top of my screen and is loaded lovely categories like "home," "scrapbooking," and "gardening," each tab loaded with blogs galore. I thought I'd link you all to a few blogs I am loving lately. The inspiration is just the cure for winter blues, and when I am feeling good enough to sit up, I plan to scrap.

How girlie-wonderful is this round textured embellishment I found on Serendipity? This blog os loaded with other goodies, too. I can't wait to try and make one of these with my stash!



I laughed when I saw this framed phrase on Cheryl Manz's "Dream In Color" Blog . I need to put one of these in front of me all day long, lol. Definately making my own version of this, I'm thinking perhaps an artsy banner?

This fabulous feminine layout has me longing to scrap pictures of my grandma and mommy's weddings. I found this layout on the Creative Therapy blog. Awesome blog to check out! So in love with the little strip of pom pom trim in the top corner!

How cute are these little embellishments I found on the fabulous and colorful Dear Lizzy blog? I am excited because this cutesy look can easily be translated to little boy pages. I can't wait to make my own take on this:

Happy scrapping to you!

New items on Etsy! Valentine's Day Cornucopias!

New items added to my Etsy Shop! Check them out!

Enjoy!!!!

Weight Watchin' on the road. A rant.

Thursday, January, 21st 2010 through Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Last week, on Thursday January 28th, I went to my WW meeting to weigh-in before the cracking of dawn. I dramatically proclaimed how crappy my week was: I mean really, really, crappy.

Imagine the worst financial distress imagineable, and you're close to what I experienced.

Also, my husband started AA. As in, quitting drinking because he drinks too much. Much more than I knew, actually. I must insert my joke now: I always knew I'd drive a man to drink. Admit it, you knew, too. lol. But seriously, I know it's not my fault. And he's awesome, attending his 8th meeting in 8 days as I type.

I felt like I was stuck in a blender all week. But, somehow, I put my body into this protective state of autopilot (in Weight Watcher's gear), and managed to not go off my points plan. Not once. I definately shifted what went into my points balance, but I stayed in my points range. Allow me to entertain you with the details.

My proudest moment after finding out we were more than broke, and my husband was starting AA, and I was officially in charge of the family bills which gives me anxiety attacks? Making a snack mix built around the concept of slow indulgence, including popcorn, Crunch n' Munch, baked cheese puffs, and m & m's. All measured, and counted before it was put into the bowl which took me two hours to finish.

Approaching the scale last Thursday I expected to gain. They say when you're stressed, your body holds onto weight. I was panicked that a gain on the scale would send me into failure mode, and cause me to drop this whole diet/lifestyle change/lifesaving event in the trash can. Did I mentioned I was on my period, and as bloated as a goat? TMI? Too bad, it's crucial you know my situation to get the full effect. When I found I had lost .4 lbs I was so pleased. And ready to look forward and upward. Thank God! Not that the scale is the only way I mark my success, but seriously, after the shittiest of shitty weeks, losing weight was something really special to hold on to, and trudge forward.

**************
This week: Thursday, January 28, 2010 through Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

About 32 hours after my successful weigh-in I was presented with two little boys and a husband who wanted to have dinner out. Shouts of "Pizza!" "Buffet!" had me nasuous with nerves. I suggested Applebee's where I knew I could have my favorite standbye, but as we got towards the parking lot, I grew brave and suggested Famous Daves next door. Proudly, I enjoyed the intoxicating smell of BBQ, and dined on a BBQ chicken salad with all the sides served seperatly, so I could control the quantities and therefore points on the plate. Success.

Hours later we would be taking the kids to see Monster Trucks. I took a nap with both boys in our bed that afternoon and actually dreamt about stadium food. No kidding... I was slowly approaching the food line and saw "no calorie chili" on the menu. Ha! Pathetic. In reality, the boys got popcorn and nasty processed cheese nachos. I took a few nibbles of popcorn, and kept my mind instead on my cool new pedometer, racking up more steps during intermission. I also thought, if my newly sober husband could sit surrounded by beer at a Monster Truck show, I could probably handle not eating anything.

Home from the Monster Trucks by 11:30pm, and out the door to Peoria by 5am. Theo's mom had surgery, and we wanted to go help her through the weekend. First stop: gas station. I brought my home brewed coffee with sugar free coffee cream, but now was faced with donuts. My favorite kind: Kwik Trip chocolate glazed. I had one, but calculated the points on it, and included it in my total.

We arrive, and are dining at IHOP by late morning. Again, success: I ordered off the IHOP "for me," menu, which lists calories/fat/etc. I also requested sugar free syrup, and pushed the butter off my plate immediately. A nice 11 point brunch.

Afternoon finds my tummy grumbling, and my hands digging through Me-Maw's cabinets. Kitchen Cooked Cheese Puffs? Shit! So cliche. I know, the fat girl can't resist the cheese puffs. Haha! But seriously, about 4 months ago on a visit to the Peoria area I discovered the goodness that is KC Cheese Puffs, and devoured an entire bag in that one weekend visit. How would I resist? I wouldn't. I would indulge in half a serving (1 cup) and count it. And even another full serving (2 cups, duh) the next day. If I didn't have thew rationed serving cheese puffs, I certainly would have eaten the whole-entire-bag. Controlled indulgence was crucial.


My most miraculous and smart Weight Watcher's decision of the weekend? At breakfast I heard someone say there would be chocolate cake after Saturday's dinner. I had Theo run me to Walmart where I would find Weight Watcher's snack cakes and brownies. Totally wasn't even tempted to have cake after I tasted the 1 point chocolate snack cakes. I had 3 though, so it felt like I was having something comparable to everyone else. And the super-indulgent taco dinner took up most of my weekly flex points. So be it. I'm on the plan.

Oh, and the Weight Watcher's pedometer I mentioned? The best Weight Watcher's invention ever! This pedometer does what all pedometers do: tells you how many steps you take in a day, and adds it up to miles. But, once you enter your weight and height in the system set-up, it also calculates how many activity points you earn in a day, after considering the amount of calories you normally burn in a day. How awesome if that? Uber-awesome! So far I've earned at least 2 activity points everyday. One day, I even earned 4! I walk more than 2 miles everyday, taking upwards of 4000 steps. Mentally, this takes away all the thoughts I had about being so lazy.

Did I succeed in a rapid lifestyle change this last week? No, not really. But I think I made some serious steps (no pun intended) in the right direction without killing anyone, eating my hand, or sabotaging my diet completely. And I now find myself safe in the delightful comfort of my own kitchen where I can resume my normal plan, and hopefully by Thursday, make some serious progress on the scale. Thank you, Weight Watcher's Gods, for watching over me.

Stay tuned, folks.

Room to Stretch!

Winter in Wisconsin can be quite long. We can have several days where the temperatures don't rise to a safe level to play outside. This year, both Santa and some aunties and uncles gave the boys some RC vehicles, and I thought Daddy's work might be the perfect place for the kiddies to stretch their legs. Last weekend, Theo had one report to run, so we packed up the kids cars and headed out with him. The boys had a blast with the RC vehicles, and actually rode them until the batteries died!

We also let them play on the excersice equipment. Hilarious!

My favorite part of the day was watching the boys play with these excercise balls.

Enjoy!

Look, Grandma, I Dyed My Hair!

As a child I had carrot-orangish-blond curls, but the older I got, the more brown my hair became. Outside of a few stints with sun-in in high school, and some bleach blond high lights in college, I've never altered my hair color. I had the highlights permanently erased by a salon before I was married. I walked in, and said, please bring back my natural color so accurately that I can't see my roots come in. They did a fab job, and I never looked back.
In came the gray. Slowly at first, then in clumps. I embraced it. It didn't bother me one bit. It became the topic of conversation with my husband quite often. After all, he's 28, and I'm only 2 1/2 years older than him. Does a 28 year old man want a 300-lb-gray-haired woman? Surprisingly, mine does. He's a saint, and apparently pretty in love with Me, not my hair or body.
It was me who decided giving some hair dye a try would be fun, a way to express myself, and play around with my appearance. It might even make me feel beautiful enough to stick to this weight loss plan once and for all? I also thought, life is short, and hair is just hair. This is the same me contemplating some neatly-placed tattoos of things like owls to symbolize my education, clematis and rose flowers from my actual garden, and possibly something to tribute my kids in the future. I guess life and age bring changes.
Now, unlike me hair, my eye color hasn't changed one bit my whole life. My eyes are a great olive green. Quite unique, actually. I have never met anyone with my eye color. I don't mean to boast, but I do rather love my eyes. I feel they have been dull and unseen behind my flat mid-brown hair color most of my life. I mean, think about it. Did you know I had green eyes? Nope.
So, altering my hair color would be one way I could bring out these eyes. I may not be the type to wear make-up everyday (more like 2-3 times a month, to church and holidays), but I did spend some time in my pre-teen years (and summer as a assistant manager at The Body Shop) learning about make-up colors. I recall, red hair brings out green eyes, and purple make-up does the trick even more.
So here we have it:

The current new me. What do you think, Grandma?

Hats Hats Hats

Having fun making more hats. Check them out here, at my online Etsy Shop!

My Etsy Shop

My Etsy shop, where I will be selling handmade items, including my knit creations, is now open. If you have any custom requests, let me know! Enjoy!!

Pick me up Foods.

I found this article, describing the boost different foods give you, very interesting. Just passing it on. I may turn to some of these food to pull me through the afternoon tummy grumblees.

Weight Watcher's: Week 2

Just a quick update. I went in to my 3rd meeting this morning and lost another 4.8 lbs, totalling 7.2 lbs gone thus far. I am very pleased with my journey, and motivated to stay the course. In comparison to three weeks ago, I feel a million times better inside, satisfied and much more balanced. My jeans are not as tight already! I know I have such a long way to go, but I have no plans of failing anytime soon!

Sleeding 2010!

I'm going to let the photos speak for themselves.

A moment of weakness.

It took a week and a half, but this afternoon I finally have experienced some weakness in my approach to Weight Watcher's. After a busy morning I was really tired, I made lunch (high fiber whole wheat bread with a tbls of Brummel and Brown, on a skillet with baby swiss and 98% FF ham, served with a handful of baby carrots w/ one tbls light ranch), and went upstairs to knit and look at some gardening books.
I fell asleep. I knew I would. I woke up and I wanted chocolate and pizza. I was freezing cold, no doubt b/c of my drafty house and now-lowered body temp from sleeping. I went for the kitchen and stood there dreading making dinner. Theo is working late, and I don't feel like cooking anything! I feel bloated, and sluggish, and my back is bothering me a bit. I want to just throw myself under my covers again and wait for a huge hot dinner to arrive.
Nevertheless, I indulged the chocolate craving with cocoa, surprised by how well it warmed me back up. I hoped online here, and thought I'd share. Still no definate dinner plans, but now that mind if clear, I don't plan on pizza; I just don't think I could resist the urge to eat the whole thing. I think I'll make the boys something simple, like a sandwich, and I'll have leftovers.
I'm going to keep fighting.
Now, I'm off to scrapbook until dinner really approaches.

P.S. See that big tree trunk in my header picture? The energy company ripped out the whole tree today! I could not be more excited, as it was diseased, and way to big for it's location. You can now see the whole front of our house, and I can plant sun-loving plants like roses and clematis on the front porch!