tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-121090942024-03-16T02:08:48.210-05:00I Love My Life, behind the scenes of Jamie Sierra KnitsSomedays I mean it, somedays I wonder.Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.comBlogger1207125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-81740995272319416412015-01-15T10:55:00.001-06:002015-01-15T10:55:28.823-06:00"Fibromyalgia Brain"<p dir="ltr">Had a delightful breakthrough moment this morning and felt like I needed to share. I've suffered from fibromyalgia for many many years now, but the aspects of it that have peaked my anxiety I have rarely discussed. Something happens to your brain and your ability to communicate quickly when you have fibromyalgia. I've never really been able to describe this to anyone, hence the problem. But I had a moment of clarity this morning and I felt it was worth copying and sharing here..</p>
<p dir="ltr">I shy away from live conversation as often as possible because I tend to get confused and sound really stupid when I talk. But as long as Theo is there to talk for me as I'm listening I'm good. I hope that makes sense? I often feel like it destroys my credibility when I start to stutter and mumble and not remember words.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's the hardest thing to have studied persuasion and credibility and then lose the ability to grasp words and concepts quickly. I'm so hyper aware of credibility so the minute I feel myself start to sound stupid I think it makes it worse because I'm so aware of it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Especially when folks don't understand fibromyalgia. Or even know I have it. Sometimes when these confused moments happen I will actually say, "I'm sorry, I have fibromyalgia and I get confused." But by that point they have already looked at me and judged me to be less than of prime intelligence. It's a natural thing to gauge the capabilities of a person that you're speaking to. It's a perfectly natural part of communication. So it's nobody's fault, its just natural.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Obviously parties and gathering makes me nervous too. I can only hope I can keep quiet and only speak up when I'm confident on a topic. </p>
<p dir="ltr"> I'm usually good with the stories, recanting fun events or telling people how I feel about things. I don't know if this is because its more socially acceptable to take a moment to come up with the words to describe this feeling then it is a fact. When it comes to remembering anything even slightly technical I tend to blank. I struggle to remember numbers, definitions, complicated words.  So if I'm talking about my essential oils, for example, I can talk about the ones that have made me feel something but when it comes to remembering how many drops of this how many hours of this, or any of the sciencie part, I tend to slip... In my head I understand it because I've read it but I can't flip it around to recite it again.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My communication becomes really sloppy and the sentence ends up with multiple pauses for me to say something like, "I don't remember the technical term," and by the end of the day I'm not sure I have conveyed anything.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Phew! That is the very best explanation of fibromyalgia brain that I have ever given. 👏<br></p>
Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-67857376419071526722014-10-07T18:36:00.001-05:002014-12-11T18:22:55.592-06:00Arm Knitting Fun<p dir="ltr"><br>
Having a blast knitting with arms lately. I'm love mixing yarns together. Here are a few cowls I made and a link to one of the scarves in the shop, too. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Check out this item in my Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/listing/206323137/fall-scarf-orange-gray-black-arm-knit</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-g6l-NX75jG8/VDmz6sBNXJI/AAAAAAAAnew/2LAaBgiv2iU/s1600/20141011_163818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-g6l-NX75jG8/VDmz6sBNXJI/AAAAAAAAnew/2LAaBgiv2iU/s640/20141011_163818.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-h1yL-v-txlw/VDmz9AymnII/AAAAAAAAne4/l7S5ErtmwCQ/s1600/20141011_155159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-h1yL-v-txlw/VDmz9AymnII/AAAAAAAAne4/l7S5ErtmwCQ/s640/20141011_155159.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-cvQh5YZPseQ/VDm0H6LFbJI/AAAAAAAAnfA/5SbWW-pfK1s/s1600/2014-10-11%25252017.14.57.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-cvQh5YZPseQ/VDm0H6LFbJI/AAAAAAAAnfA/5SbWW-pfK1s/s640/2014-10-11%25252017.14.57.jpg"> </a> </div>Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-65788239941764236022014-09-04T09:40:00.001-05:002014-09-04T09:57:17.142-05:00Blessings in disguise. <p dir="ltr">I have had fibromialgia for nearly a decade now, and thankfully some really brilliant physical therapists taught me how to handle my fibromyalgia- changing the way the disease affects me a great deal. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The concept of activity mapping has saved my life so many times. The general idea is that you *never* overdo it. When they feel well, people with fibromyalgia tend to try to jam everything that needs to get done into that feeling well time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The result, nearly every time, is a few days of utter uselessness. Our bodies take longer to recover from strenuous activity. I can remember this exact pattern, I would have a day where I was feeling normal and I would bust my butt to get everything done, and then lay around for 3 days in pain. By the time I was feeling normal again I had so much to do it was very overwhelming. I felt a lot of despair as though I would never catch up with anything.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Activity mapping is controlling the amount of physically challenging stuff you do no matter how you feel. Everyday you decide the few physically demanding things that you need to get done and you accomplish them and stop. No matter how good you feel. For a lot of months this felt extremely unnatural. After all when you're feeling good sitting down and resting doesn't feel right, but the result meant that the next day I could get up and do a half a day of physically strenuous stuff again! And then sit, and do it again the next day. The result was a lot more productive time versus time in pain.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It didn't take long for me to realize that stopping myself from overdoing it meant I could actually get most of my responsibilities done. It also meant better time management. And a lot less horrific down time where pain limited me from being at all useful. </p>
<p dir="ltr">You know what else? That time that I was forcing myself to sit down I wasn't sitting in total pain- I was sitting and I was pretty comfortable. I was working on my hobby of knitting or reading or researching patterns, or recipes on the computer. I was relaxing. And it was very healing. </p>
<p dir="ltr">You know what else was healing? Knowing that I was able to get stuff done for myself and my family.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Of course, fibromyalgia it isn't all about overdoing it and being in pain. There are many other things that affect and trigger fibromyalgia. For example if you eat certain foods, etc. You can still feel awful. But overall, the activity mapping was a winning way to live with this disease. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Today I'm finding what I learned by activity mapping is helping me get through the flu. My house is such a disaster area right now but I am determined to stay planted on my couch sweating out my fever and shutting my eyes to the mess around me. Lol. </p>
<p dir="ltr">A few years ago I probably would have pushed myself to try to clean the house despite having the flu... and I probably would have ended up with something much worse like pneumonia. See how these blessings in disguise sneak up when you aren't even noticing? </p>
Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-79838417076799858262014-08-01T10:51:00.001-05:002014-08-01T16:53:49.538-05:00Frugality, our style lately. <p dir="ltr">Its amazing, when you think about it, the things that you can do without. My husband has been retired from the Army since February and has yet to receive a single dime from the VA. He has worked several jobs that meet the needs of his disability,  but nothing has come close to the money he made while in the service. That's what the VA money IS for... to supplement a man who is disabled from serving his country to keep him at a level of normal income despite his limitations. If the VA money had been coming right away like it should have been, (my husband settled his disability rating before he was even discharged, and the paperwork has been sitting there ready ever since), we wouldn't gave fallen behind. It would have been enough.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This week, while checking on the financial hardship claim we submitted 20 days ago- that was supposed to take 10 days- (when we actually got a live person the phone!!), I heard the guy on the phone tell my husband most vets lie about financial hardship. Yes, you read me right: the guy from the VA called my husband a liar. How my husband, my rock, held his stuff together long enough to end the phone call by telling the guy to have a nice night- I'll never know. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My husband has a diasbled foot and shoulder, a bad back,.adjustment disorder, PTSD... more.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We submitted paperwork for govt assistance for food... We got the card and it was ALL sorts of screwed up. First wrong birthday, then wrong social. I guess those are part of your pin or something.  Still have yet to see the replacement. And do you know what we qualify for? $100 a month to feed a family of 4. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We borrowed money from my mom to pay for one car and thanks for the generous donations of friends and family and even strangers we've been able to pay for the other; we still owe my mom A LOT of money back. It had to come to being served papers to go to court to have our car taken for me to ask for help. I've also had the gas company come to the door and threatened to turn my gas off. When we were really stretched to the limits we were buying food instead of paying bills. Paying for a tank of gas so my husband can get to work... One day in particular I can remember that we had nothing left that we had a bunch of metal that we needed to scrap and we literally used our last $10 to get gas to get the metal to the scrap metal place. I kept hoping and praying that the tire wouldn't go flat or something on the way there or worse. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We had friends from church and the boys' school helping us weekly with groceries, which has been amazing. On our current budget generic walmart food and whatever is on sale is it. A long way from the organic choices we were starting to afford before all this happened. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Prior to our current financial situation we were pretty frugal people. Most of our furniture comes from second hand stores and some of it even from the side of the road. I will gladly buy a chair from Goodwill, and three quarters of my sons' wardrobe comes from there as well. They go though the boys section at goodwill with me to find things they like. I've taught them it's always better so save money than spend more when you can get something for less.  When I can, I find what I need at second hand stores- be it clothes or shoes, pots and pans, bowls. We eliminated our cable TV over year ago, we don't spend a drop of money on alcohol. My husband's been sober for 4 years and I have an occasional glass of wine, now I just have to get it from someone else. Ha! </p>
<p dir="ltr">I can't tell you how many times this summer I wanted a glass of wine.</p>
<p dir="ltr">More about me: I've not had my nails done, hair done, hair cut at even a cheap place. I did these things literally once a year when I HAD money. Now. Not all all. When we had money I got most of my clothes at Walmart or the target clearance rack. Thats right, Target's regular prices are too high for me to afford.  I don't buy or wear makeup. I don't even know most brand names of anything. My purses cost me $12 or less and currently ALL have holes in them. I don't soend money on hair products. I use cheap shampoo. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Usually in a spring season a spend money on plants. In the fall, yarn. Not this year. Even then, I spend a fraction of what most of the women I know spend on normal "upkeep"... on my plants. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Let me tell you: not having money to provide basic things for your family causes a level of stress that you can not imagine until you're in it. I suffer from anxiety and depression.  I've spent a lot of this summer asleep. In too much fibromyalgia pain, and such deep depression that I can't bear to be awake. My thoughts consume me with worry and despair and when all the housework I can do (with my physical limitations and back pain) is done, and I've run out of pretty flowers to look outside, sleep feels like the only way to make it through the day. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The nightmares have been awful. I dreamt of every disparity you can concoct. Woken up needing to be held and consoled because I dreamt I lost my kids to illness or kidnapping. Just horrific.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Take a family who lives at frugal and cut their income by more than a third and you have family who really has to make magic happen. We've had yard sales, sold things on craigslist. We haven't eaten at a restaurant in months, and outside of the cherry berry gift card my mom gave us, and a delicious breakfast Theo's mom bought us in early July. Last night we used a gift card and I felt guilty for even <u>that</u>. And of course had nightmares. You can count out summer trips for ice cream.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We've never been a family who takes vacations. Our kids think Super 8 is a fantastic hotel! We road trip to sleep at friends houses or camp. Like in tents. For cheap.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">We don't buy our pets toys, or have money for lawn fertilizer. Can't afford the soda at the gas station, or the snack stand at church league softball. </p>
<p dir="ltr">And you know dental insurance is over rated anyway. </p>
<p dir="ltr">In fact,  I rarely leave the house. My son marveled one day, "Wow, I haven't gone anywhere in like 5 days!" We have no where to go. My weekly outting is church. Maybe walmart once. We can't afford the gas to even free places like the woods or parks. Yesterday we splurged and went to a free zoo and conservatory- an hour away. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Trying to hide all of this from our kids has been exhausting.  We don't dare discuss it in front of them. Our kids are worriers. Ben would chew his nails and panic and Hunter might honestly just cry. But all summer they've heard "no," over and over... can we order pizza?  Can we get ice cream? Can we go to valley fair (we've never been)? When can we go camping again? No. No. No. I don't know.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's all I can take to fight back tears most days. I think I am to the point where I do cry once a day atleast. I keep reminding myself that worry is a sign of lack of faith, and one thing I know for sure is that I believe in our Lord.  I know he's putting us through this for a greater reason than we can understand,  and someday we'll be in his kingdom forever. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Please keep praying for us. Thank you for listening.  I needed to get this off my chest. </p>
Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-20867486832395977252014-02-19T11:43:00.001-06:002014-02-19T11:44:52.960-06:00Quick Getaway and One Month Update<p dir="ltr">You guys, I survived a month of the anti-inflammatory diet! I can barely believe it's already been for weeks, in fact if I hadn't written it down in my planner I wouldn't have believed it. The first six and a half days I had the most terrible headache. But since then it's been pretty smooth sailing... That is if you don't count my break down in the kitchen where I almost cried because I wanted cheese. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We switched to getting a majority of my foods at Trader Joes or Whole Foods. This adds drive time- as we live a half hour from those places, but it's been very worth it. One day in fact while my husband was at a job interview, I spent about 2 hours and Whole Foods reading labels, sampling things that they had out, and learning the store. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My idiots guide to anti inflammatory eating showed up in the mail yesterday, so I'm excited to crack that open today.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Meanwhile I made it through a whole trip to Peoria Illinois and back while maintaining my eating restrictions. I made this work by bringing along whole grain items I suspected I would not be able to get in that area (no tj's or WF there). I started out our Saturday morning with the trip to the grocery store with my mother in law to get some more of the things I would need. I even baked cakes for the family and had only one spoonful of frosting. My mother in law bought me some very dark chocolate and I had that instead of cake. Perfect.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Today I started taking turmeric capsules. Overwhelmingly people told me that it is fantastic for fibromyalgia, so I couldn't ignore the suggestion. My husband found it for me at Walmart for roughly $7. Not bad!</p>
<p dir="ltr">On a daily basis I'm making sure to get in all the things I need... And I can honestly say I have barely experienced hunger in any form. Stealing from Weight Watchers terminology it makes sense that when you eat filling foods all the time, you're full!</p>
<p dir="ltr">So far my favorite go to things have been Trader Joe's probiotic smoothies, steamed edamame, bananas, Trader Joe's whole grain flax seed crackers with hummus, multi grain flax seed tortilla chips guacamole made without Dairy, raspberries, and larabars.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've very much have enjoyed the daiya soy cheese- I have the cheddar mixed in with a salad, and the mozzarella mixed in with brown rice pasta and chicken with mushrooms and red peppers and olive oil. I don't expect that it would taste good on its own but mixed in it does the job. I have also enjoyed soymilk and coffee creamer, almond milk, and coconut milk coffee creamer. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I have compromised and had occasional sour cream, and once I had cheese, but for the most part I have eliminated all white flour, eggs, Dairy, high fructose corn syrup, tomatoes, & potatoes. I have greatly limited sugar. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I lost 4.8 lbs in 4 weeks.</p>
<p dir="ltr">*******<br>Our trip to Peoria was a last minute decision. We went in time to have a legitimate date for Valentines Day. Our initial plan was to go to the place we met the Chili's on University- exactly 13 years to the date. We were stunned to find how many people were already out to dinner for Valentine's Day at 4:30 pm!! After calling around a few places realizing no reservations were going to be available we drove past a place and Theo mentioned "I've never been there before." A quick call and we were seated at The Lariat, and enjoyed a delicious dinner. I would have to say the best meal I've had in my life. Our appetizer included smoked salmon, crab legs and jumbo shrimp with some of the tastiest cocktail sauce I've ever had. For our meal I had lobster and a baked sweet potato. The salad was also delicious with a lemon poppy seed vinaigrette.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We got home early with enough time to play more with my mother in law's new rescue dog Cooper. He is adorable! Even more cute when he's in his bow tie or the raincoat. We also got to take out the ferrets and let them run around. Very fun!</p>
<p dir="ltr">We took advantage of having actual television and watched a little bit of the Olympics. The boys enjoyed it very much. We also rented some movies, had the whole family over, celebrated a birthday, and my mother-in-law and I went shopping both Saturday and Sunday to a few thrift stores, Ross and Gordmans. I came home with some awesome treasures including a cute old kitchen scale, and <u>a</u> faux fur coat that is going to make me look like a proper church lady. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We came home to more snow- in fact the last half of driving was in snow. I must have been exhausted because I slept through most of Monday. I got almost everything unpacked though! </p>
<p dir="ltr">Such a great trip!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Theo started his new job yesterday and he really likes it! God is good.</p>
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text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-P7PYE5lAGbo/UwTtB6aR-gI/AAAAAAAAmc0/pmf2UyTKu2I/s1600/20140217_155059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-P7PYE5lAGbo/UwTtB6aR-gI/AAAAAAAAmc0/pmf2UyTKu2I/s640/20140217_155059.jpg"> </a> </div>Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-32405606705191255802014-02-09T19:12:00.002-06:002014-02-09T19:21:11.448-06:00Craft Room Reorganize & Great News!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
It felt fantastic to have some time to do some reorganizing last week. I moved all of my supplies for work and hobby into the back room of our house last fall right when the chaos of knitting season set in. I didn't have the time to really organize anything then, and just slapped things in place. This time, I had all the time in the world to think about where I'd want to sit, lighting, access of items, etc. The whole room just feels better, and I've maximized the space! Here are a few pictures I took! Enjoy!</div>
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Looking from the bathroom doorway at the whole room. Shipping table on the right, scrapbooking on the left. The boys' video games are in the yellow chest straight ahead (bottom two drawers are mine, full of ribbon, looms, and cotton yarn).</div>
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Stepping forward the yarn storage comes into view- most of the yarn is in these two cabinets. The blue one will be painted as soon as I get a day to open the windows. I'm going for a cream color and sanding it to see the blue and green through... can't wait to tackle this project. <br />
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Looking towards the shipping table. The antique tool box on the lower shelf holds shipping supplies. The file cabinet holds papers, folders, and more yarn. The chest on top of the file cabinet holds various things like macramé plant holders not in use, and fiber for filling up pillows. <br />
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This is the scrapbook space. The tiny metal drawers on the table (an auction find I love) hold punches, ink, and stamps. Still some fine tuning to do here, but I've already used this space and its great! Super happy to have one of my great grandmother's quilts on the wall- I have one in the stairway going upstairs, but have never hung up another one. <br />
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Finally found a spot to hand my vintage Finnish wall hanging! This basket in the foreground houses the yarn I want to use next.... some of it has already been used!<br />
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This is the sewing table. I use the same wooden chair by the scrapbooking table when I sew- this chair I for knitting and watching the birds out the windows. :) Found it for a steal at goodwill, and its in perfect vintage condition. Since I took this picture I moved a vintage ottoman in here with it, so I can lift my feet. The baskets house more yarn... and the huge wooden box under the table also houses more yarn. The lady will be moving over by the yarn cabinets tomorrow, as my husband and I tackle building a new photo backdrop I can pull out when I need it. <br />
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This is the corner across from the shipping table, to the right of the bathroom door. I've got a couple dozen plants on the étagère- and the frog has been moved over here so we can see him better. He seems to like his new spot, and we love him being out in the open so we catch his every move. The exercise bike is poised for bird watching. We get bunnies, squirrels, and birds of all sorts of birds the back porch this time of year. We have a heated bird bath, and several feeders out there. Note the two cats under the frog table. They LOVE to sit by the heater, and watch the birds over by the window. The tool box houses terrarium making supplies, and the old minnow buckets actually holds soil for when I may need to repot one of my houseplants. I kneel on the back rug and do my dirty work, and then flip the rub up to dump the soil etc. that's fallen out the back door. It works!<br />
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Happy crafting!</div>
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Also fantastic news on the job front- Theo has accepted a new job as a warehouse supervisor at a paint company. Its going to be a great fit for him, utilizing his skill set perfectly (darn near exactly what he did in the army), while not hurting his body- and the pay is right, the commute it perfect, and the work hours are nearly exactly what he would have wanted!! Total bonus he'll get paid vacation the first year ( so we can actually take a trip somewhere- Glacier National Park or Rocky Mtn Nat park top the list). God is so, so good. Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-54735817732336027012014-02-04T18:53:00.001-06:002014-02-04T18:53:37.858-06:00Let's give it a go!<p dir="ltr">I think I do so well in a winter dominated climate because at heart I am a homebody. There's nothing wrong with that. My home is my nest and in I can putz & fluff & feather to my heart's content. Sure when its super cold I miss the forest, I miss camping, I miss my garden, but I'm one of those people that isn't going to waste time missing things I can't have. Sometime ago the concept of appreciating what's going on around me sunk in. The idea that when it's spring you love spring, and with winter you love winter. I think of this whole idea as a lifesaver for me. There were so many days of my youth that I sat thinking about how green the grass was on the other side that I missed out on noticing the wonders around me. So now appreciate what I get. If I wake up and God gives us a day with a hundred and seven degree temperatures then that's what we get- and we find someplace to cool off. If we have  minus 50 degree wind chill we scrapbook we bake we watch movies... we make do, & we thank God for the warm house around us.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So this last couple weeks I've been thinking about the way that I take care of myself I'm trying to attach this philosophy to caring for myself. So many times I've discussed my ups and downs of weight loss on this blog... But oh well.  After doing the deprivation that was required for me to maintain a very low weight for 3 years and not allowing myself any indulgence I went to the opposite extreme and indulged for many years. I have not been able to find a happy medium. In fact it's been a dangerous little game I play where I go so far as to track my weight watchers points and fill them with all the wrong things and I lose weight and then I gain it back. We're probably at the point where I hold some sort of World Record for losing and gaining weight hundreds of pounds at a time. Something about this year has made me feel very brave and I have embarked on a total overhaul of the way I think about food. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time, but I live so much of my life in fear: Fear of death, fear of sickness, fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of being judged, fear of scrutiny, fearing failure, fearing change ... And its getting old. I'm not getting any younger I don't want to die of heart disease. Heck! I can still prevent ever getting heart disease!! There are so many things I want to do. Somewhere along the line I want to find myself on a trail in the middle of summer not huffing and puffing and wishing I could go further...  Somewhere along the line I want to have blood work done and not cross my fingers that it all comes back free and clear one more year because it's only a matter of time before it comes back terrible. I can't keep eating dozens of baked goods and the whole gallons of ice cream and maintain a weight of over 250 pounds and think that I'm going to live forever. It just ain't gonna happen.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's also been a really long time since I've tried anything but Weight Watchers. I think a little change will do me good.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So I'm not going to fear healthy eating anymore. I don't know what came over me but I embarked on eating for my illness. I'm eating an anti-inflammatory based diet. What this means is that I am avoiding foods that cause inflammation and I am eating foods that help reduce inflammation. I think it's going to take some time to make sure that I lose weight doing the sort of eating but the overhaul it's so vast, that I'm taking it one step at a time. So at this time I'm not counting calories I am trying to pay attention to my body and stop eating when I'm full. And I am not deviating from the plan. The plan is not some rigid list of what I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; it doesn't assign numbers to foods. The fact its worse. Just kidding. It's harder and it takes a lot of creativity.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This last 7 days I have cut out almost all dairy ( I had an eighth of a cup of cheese on a salad), most sugar, gluten, all white flour,  all red meat, eggs, I more than halved my caffeine, I ate mostly organic foods, tried my very first soy based milk and coffee creamer, incorporated whole grains, and made sure to have fatty fish (and other fish), and lean chicken. I have had absolutely no fake sugar. I think that about sums it up although it's very possible I forgot some things.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I still have a lot to figure out. I am reading food labels like its my job. Because it is. I ordered a book that is on its way. If I want to maximize my potential I have got to stop eating things that poison me. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Hopefully this helps my fibromyalgia along with my regular activity mapping- I expect to feel a million times better. I'll let you know how it goes. </p>
<p dir="ltr">For now here are few pictures of this lovely winter week we had. Lots of crafting and cleaning, reorganizing my workroom and the usual laundry and housework. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Also a quick update on my hubby: After being unable to do the last job that Theo had taken (specifically: spending a majority of his day going up and down a thin ramp was not working with his reconstructed foot, as well as holding massive carts of food with an already messed up shoulder and was causing him a great deal of pain) he has been searching full time for a new job. He has another interview tomorrow and hopefully more coming up. Please keep him and us in your prayers. </p>
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This year I will:<br>
-make mittens from old sweaters<br>
-learn to crochet<br>
-make a rag rug<br>
-learn to cable knit<br>
-make knit socks<br>
-make garlands galore<br>
-hypertufa more!!<br>
-sell myphotography<br>
-open an Etsy vintage shop<br>
-commit to making stuff I love rather than manufacturing the same things over and over<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">I will continue the weight loss journey through the entire year. Final total tgis last year was about 38 lbs. (After holiday weight gain), but I already lost more. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We will get our bikes fixed and get a way to take them on our camping trips and locally.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I will resume cooking for my family not full time but often enough. I miss it and with theo starting a new job with different hours the timing is perfect. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We will start a hefty savings acct.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We will camp in Canada.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We will get rid of excess stuff.<br><br><br></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-vCAzVXPkazE/UsmgoIdeCCI/AAAAAAAAmSw/aBAJmNitLlE/s1600/20131231_160553.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-vCAzVXPkazE/UsmgoIdeCCI/AAAAAAAAmSw/aBAJmNitLlE/s640/20131231_160553.jpg"> </a> </div>Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-35109437839527087282013-11-27T08:35:00.001-06:002013-11-27T08:41:51.130-06:00Still Here. Still Thankful.We are all trucking along here in Minnesota. Life's pretty okay. <br />
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Theo has finally received his medical paperwork back and has less than 90 days in the Army left. He's being medically discharged because of his foot injuries, and shoulder limitations. He can no longer uphold the standard for the Army, physically. In a regular job he'd be confined to desk work or "light duty," but the Army doesn't keep those who can't pass the rigorous physical requirements (rightfully so!). Transitioning slowly here, he's got about 30 days left of work before he begins to use up his leave. So 90 days of an Army paycheck left. He'll be compensated for his disabilities with a disabled vet status, and a fraction of his pay, as well as complete medical coverage for the rest of his life through the VA. Nevertheless, he will need to find a full time career outside the military in the next 60 days or so, so let the stress begin!<br />
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He went and got his CDL this week. The job market for inventory management (the civilian equivalent of his job) seems promising, so we are hopeful. <br />
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Theo's also been hunting this year a lot. Enjoyed his time in nature so much, watched lots of wildlife. No deer in the freezer yet, but muzzleloader season is still coming. <br />
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Ben is playing basketball for school. He got in his first game this last Friday and looked like a deer in headlights. Pretty cute. He's also working on a project for school on the state of Florida, and reading a lot. He's doing well at typing. He is still obsessed with Legos, and frogs (he has a frog named Buddy as his pet), but he's also really enjoying video games more than before. He plays minecraft on his Kindle, and lots of different wii games with Hunty. <br />
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Hunter is still totally into video games. He loves wii dance, and minecraft on the Kindle, too. He is in the process of beating or tying all of dad's records on wii sports. He's reading awesome! He doesn't enjoy reading, but he is getting really, really good at it. He's getting great grades at school, and is very helpful around the house. <br />
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I'm knitting 2-3 scarves a day. Busy season started WAY early for me, and have been keeping up this pace since August. I watch documentaries, movies, and read books while I knit. If I lay the book out on the dining room table in front of me I can read and knit at the same time. I've devoured Sibella Court's books, and some Mary Randolph Carter. Just finished The Unexpected Houseplant by Tovah Martin, too. When I'm not knitting I'm cleaning up after my family, tending to my collection of houseplants (super big this year), or walking around a store for inspiration and stimulation. Plans are to build up my ready to ship scarf inventory this winter (after holiday season rush). I've been asked to sell in several boutiques and online shops, so I hope to have lots of inventory by fall. <br />
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I had the chance to spend a few week coaching the Salem forensics squad, and it was so much fun! they did great at their tournament, and more importantly I think they actually learned a little bit from me. hahaha. Great group of kids! It was awesome!<br />
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I also lost 50 lbs this year! (55 but we've been indulging in some holiday treats). I feel a million times better, and have enjoyed the ability to get to some harder places (i.e. small hikes), than I would have been able to last year. I hope to have another 50 gone next year. If not more. :)<br />
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I enjoyed selling some junk finds, handcrafted hypertufa, and plants at a local shop here this year, too. It was a very fun experience, and I hope to continue doing it next spring as well in some capacity. <br />
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We are so very happy with our church and are growing spiritually as a family every day. Such an immeasurable blessing faith is. <br />
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All is okay. Very thankful for our warm home, our pets, our love, food on the table. Very thankful for the year we've had- going up north half a dozen times has found me in love with Lake Superior and the Iron Range. I have our sights set on living up there in about a decade. Hopefully a quiet secluded modest homestead with lots of land for growing flowers I can sell at a farmer's market, and a view of a forest, lake, or river... allowing myself, for the first time since losing our home in Wisconsin, to have a legit dream. To actually admit I want a certain kind of life. And to believe it can actually happen.<br />
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Happy Thanksgiving friends and family. Hope you are all well. Enjoy some snapshots of our year:<br />
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Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-25015208603976353642013-08-19T09:48:00.001-05:002013-08-19T09:48:43.326-05:00We found our happy place. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This has been a truly epic summer for us. This spring we noticed how much time the television was sucking up from our lives... how hard it was to get all the things we needed to get done and still find time to keep current on the shows we all liked to watch- so we did something drastic. We got rid our cable. We kept the wii, the dvd player, and the kindle and DS. We aren't unplugged by any stretch of the imagination... but we are cable free, and richer on so many levels, for it. </div>
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The kids watched Pinocchio. Much better than some of the garbage they were watching, and quoting, and emulating... happy mama. </div>
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The beauty of this freedom? More time. We've built a shed, expanded the vegetable garden, put a few new seating areas out in the yard and actually sat in them- for no reason at all but to stare at the stars, watch the sunset, look for bats, enjoy the hummingbird traffic. To just <em>be. </em>And its been wonderful. </div>
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We also took 2 back to back camping trips up to the Minnesota shore of Lake Superior, and we've fallen in love. We visited the southern half of this area last year, and this year we did the northern half, and liked it so much, we went back a month later. We stayed at Judge Magney State Park. We hiked Devil's Kettle Fall in a thunderstorm, skipped rocks (well, theo did... we all can't figure it out) on Lake Superior, ate wild berries on a mountain overlooking Canada, marevelled at 185+ year old red and white pines, looked for moose, wolves, and bears... collected agate, went to a rock museum, hiked up creeks and strolled down paved trails... and had the world's best donuts- twice. Here are some pictures from our second trip up there. Theo and I are already planning our move... and yoyu know what? Our kids are on board? They love it up there, too! We want to let the boys go to school here, but gradually- this heaven on earth up in the north woods should someday be our home. </div>
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<br />Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-54097524818257023542013-03-26T08:05:00.001-05:002013-03-26T08:05:31.266-05:00H2O<p>The ladies at my Weight Watchers meeting gave me a fabulous idea last week. Each week we are asked to write down 1one thing we're going to focus on for the next week. Last week I wrote down that I was going to track my water. I'm mostly get my water in, but I tend to forget the majority of the day and then have to drink a lot of water in the evening. This results in me having to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Bathroom is on the first floor at the back of the house... bedroom is on the second floor and I have to climb over my husband & dog, and occasionally a cat or two... plus the steps are noisy and sometimes it wakes up the kids. The lesson here is that I need to keep track of my water all day and spread it out evenly. Their suggestion? To get a "cute thing" to hold my water and leave it on the counter all day ( or in the fridge for those of you who like your water chilled). It's one of those brilliant-why-didn't-I-think-of-that ideas. I committed to tracking my water this week but I didn't do very good. In fact I did the same thing I've done the previous weeks and got most of my water in the end of the day. Last night I said enough is enough and I forked out $11 at Wally World and brought home this jug and a matching plastic cup doesn't hurt. This might not be a cute vintage container like I would prefer, but it's real glass, it sort of matches the kitchen, and it holds 128 ounces of water, which should get me closer to drinking all my water- all day long. The visual of watching the water go down throughout the day is probably going to be pretty gratifying. Not to mention noticing at noon that I still have a full jug might make me drink my water earlier in the day. <br>
I'm down 24lbs since December 31st as of last Tuesday. Tonight is my weigh in... and the home scale shows me 3.5 pounds down this week! I know some of that will come back on throughout the day, but still gearing up for another great week!</p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-GAYmX_1nOuU/UVGdF8F9toI/AAAAAAAAlq8/WBEbYddESnk/s1600/2013-03-26_07-51-48_428.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-GAYmX_1nOuU/UVGdF8F9toI/AAAAAAAAlq8/WBEbYddESnk/s640/2013-03-26_07-51-48_428.jpg' /> </a> </div>Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-70907830507969713542013-02-06T19:47:00.001-06:002013-02-06T19:47:30.411-06:00I need four arms. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Yesterday I felt like a real live woman again. I cleaned things. Lots of things. I made TIME to put a woman's touch on various parts of the house that the husband and boys have been cleaning. I didn't make too big a dent in the disaster, but it was enough of an impact that I could stand back and take a deep breath. </div>
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Today I had to run into town to get a few things, and I stocked up on some more fabrics for my shop. I am so excited to make some scarves and other goodies from these pretty prints. I wish I had 4 arms, and endless time in the day. </div>
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<br />Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-33353936294320017872013-01-26T07:53:00.002-06:002013-01-26T07:53:50.810-06:00Working on it. Still going strong here. <br />
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For the most part.<br />
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Yesterday was my biggest struggle day- I was just hungry all day. I indulged the <em>idea</em> of baking cookies. I thought about ice cream. I let the thoughts flow through my mind, but I didn't follow through because I didn't think I could avoid eating them all. <br />
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I luckily had my flex points available, so I used them. I indulged some of the carb and sugar cravings in the form of a weight watchers muffin, snack bar, and one piece of chocolate and then had hearty dinner- crab stuffed flounder, scallops and peas, and two baked potatoes. Yes. Two. With sour cream and margarine. <br />
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I tracked and weighed every darn morsel, and this morning I woke up without the feeling I needed to eat more. I am reluctantly going to the gym this morning. I know I will feel better afterward. Right now I feel bloated, and want to lay on the couch in my robe- but the truth is, the gym is going to make me feel a ton better, wake my body up, and help me achieve my goals. <br />
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In other news... this was an amazing week for my Etsy shop. I never would have imagined I would still be selling scarves! Last January I sold one scarf, and this January I am teetering on 80 sales, and the month still isn't over. I am having a blast with new fabrics- and colors. Adding a white and daffodil yellow scarf to the shop this week- as customers have requested the items, allowing me the time to make something new and different while still fulfilling orders. <br />
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I'm still longing to get back to making unique items- using the stash of yarn I have accumulated- as well as other crafts like scrapbooking... but the chance to make a little income for my family and grow my business far trumps this longing. :) <br />
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I added this <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/121611402/nectarine-circle-scarf-cotton-inifinity" target="_blank">nectarine</a> hued scarf yesterday. <br />
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Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-29578520461740555582013-01-16T21:22:00.001-06:002013-01-16T21:22:12.053-06:00Winter Mint Scarf<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I just had a box of this beautiful mint yarn delivered! Back in stock <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/120002433/mint-green-scarf-infinity-scarf-knit" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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<br />Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-10473683236089263492013-01-16T20:00:00.000-06:002013-01-16T20:00:01.837-06:00Begin AgainI love this banner from <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/120566231/begin-again-vintage-modern-bunting?ref=af_circ_favitem&atr_uid=6206870" target="_blank">ohalbatross</a> on Etsy!<br />
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<br />Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-25342767804621651142013-01-16T08:31:00.000-06:002013-01-16T08:31:28.695-06:00Commited. I did wake up with a little bit of bitter taste left in my mouth this morning, not gonna lie. My husband I had a long heart to heart last night and I truly feel a ton better about my meeting experience last night. We talked it out. We let our thoughts wander. I was reminded of how far I've come. How tired of comparing everything to my first successful weight loss experience. I dissected it last night... and reminded myself of the good things it brought me, but also where my mis-steps were.<br />
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I've never verbalized this as honestly as I am here, and so this is very theraputic for me...<br />
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I had no idea what most vegetables & many fruit were before I joined WW the first time. Kid you not- I had never done anything but spit out the "green things" in the casseroles. I was an angry, bratty little kid, and when presented with vegetables I fought my family- and after time, they pretty much stopped fighting me back. I can remember vomitting up carrots my mom made me eat-at the dinner table. I can still see my grandpa rolling his eyes and my sweet grandma pushed the peas in my direction again and again, as I disrespectfully pushed them right back, not without the sassy verbage. <br />
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I didn't eat potatoes unless they were fried french fries. Tomatoes were only comsumed though pizza sauce. Holiday dinners I had two things on my plate: meat and bread. I'm pretty sure I didn't know pizza sauce was made from tomatoes- I might not have eaten it. I didn't even know what most of the things in the vegetable/fruit dept were! I had to read, and look them up, and bring them home and cut them and touch them, and taste them. <br />
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I still can't say I used them correctly. By the time my points got down real low and I was nearing the lifetime marker my eating habits had already swayed back towards carbs and meat. I would have oatmeal for breakfast and air popped popcorn mixed with a bag of microwave kettle corn, with an apple for lunch. I would skip the fruit and eat a bite of candy, making poor choices with my points. (Fruit and veggies had point values back then). I still had veggies & fruit - but not as many as I could have, not as creatively as I should have. I look back and wonder why I had no fat on my body left, no breast tissue, my hair falling out, my heart racing and always feeling like I was starving. I may have been within points but my nutrition was whacked.<br />
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I think the reason I quit tracking that fatefull fall of 2003 was because I needed more nourishment. Coupled with the gym closing. By them time I realized I was losing control and I marched back onto the weight watcher's plan I found out I was pregnant. The rest is history. <br />
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I've often said I won't ever try to be that thin again because I was so hungry all the time and had to work out 6 days a week. No, Jamie, you didn't have a clue what to eat to nourish yourself- and you are older and wiser now. Trust yourself. This time will be better. It might take longer to get there, but now that you acknowledge when/why you lose track, and you have your husband taking this journey with you... there is nothing to worry about. <br />
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Now, as I developed a lot of my taste pallet, and actually spend half the year growing my own vegetables, I feel a million times more equipt to handle this whole thing. <br />
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So after my chat with my husband I caught myself having a bit of a revelation this morning. As I was typing a comment to a friend this came out of me: <br />
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I am giving it forever. <br />
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I truly have no intention of ever not tracking again. This has been a huge change for me in that I usually let the prospect of going off track linger in the back of my mind like a sweet temptation- but this time I know I can't ever, ever, ever let myself not track again. It simply doesn't work for me and will mean impending health risks, and eventually death. <br />
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Whoa, that's some serious shizz. lol. I guess I am taking my 300lb weight seriously. The stronger I hold onto this principle, the more likely it will become a reality I never look back on. <br />
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Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-63945966475067509862013-01-15T20:11:00.002-06:002013-01-15T20:11:58.804-06:00Meeting Schmeeting.So, went to my second Weight Watcher's meeting (this year, this time around). I've been tracking for 3 weeks now, but this was my first chance to weigh in and potentially lose. I tracked every bite, used my scale to weight every morsel, and measuring devices when possible, and I gained .2 <br />
<br />
If this was a few months in, I'd chalk it up to bloating (its not my time of the month), or just one of those things that happens, but the truth is- 3 weeks in, I should have lost weight, and have no reasonable answer as to why I didn't lose weight. I'm 299 lbs, and I've got plenty of it to freaking lose. <br />
<br />
With that- there's nothing more I can do. I kind of have this attitutude that I don't have time for the bullshit. I could beat myself up, cry, get all angry, but goodness- where would that get me? It won't change the number on the scale. And its just a number on the scale. <br />
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<em>*I'm snapping at my family as I'm typing this because we usually eat dinner at 4:30, and it's 8:04, and I haven't had a bite to each or drink since 2pm. Remind me to vent about evening meetings and the 4 lbs difference between my weight this morning, and my weight this evening.</em> So, sorry family, I yelled out of hunger. <br />
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So many emotions going into the meetings again that it's hard to keep it together. I look at people with these wonderful success stories, and we all clap and celebrate for them, and I used to be that person, and I hate myself for letting it all go again. I'm sitting there, the fattest of the fatties, and saying a single word in the realm of tips or advice looks moronic at best. <br />
<br />
I just want to hurry up and get the good part again. <br />
Tracking just the same this week. Keeping all the added fruits and veggies of last week because it really truly helped, and I hardly felt hungry all week. <br />
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Hopefully I'll be back with a great f-ing number next week. <br />
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Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-56846718378359646112013-01-12T18:41:00.001-06:002013-01-12T18:41:59.582-06:00Some Life-Fitness GoalsI've been saying for years that I want to try snowshoeing. Each time winter really sets in I'm so far back out of shape that snowshoeing doesn't seem worth the investment. Afterall, if I can only go a 1/4 of mile, spending hundreds should probably go towards a gym or more fresh produce... <br />
<br />
This week we went walking out into the woods where Theo hunts to take down his stuff for the season. We ventured on a brief walk through some deep snow that hadn't been walked through yet. I'm not gonna lie, it challengd me. I've been sick, and my lungs aren't exactly healthy- and I was way too out of shape to keep myself from huffing and puffing, and then coughing to an embarassing level. It all made me want to get some damn snowshoes and try again. <br />
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Flash forward later this week we are at Cabela's, and I'm eye-balling the snow shoes. I decided to make achieving the snowshoe goal a main tenet in this life-changing journey to lose weight. I want to be able to march out Cabela's for Christmas (or even late fall) and get those snowshoes- and not feel the least bit bad about it. <br />
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Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-87883647449340327332013-01-11T10:20:00.000-06:002013-01-11T10:21:17.366-06:00LinkFor more on the "One Little Word" concept click <a href="http://aliedwards.com/blog/one-little-word" target="_blank">here</a>. There's a class and everything... Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-515773242871265652013-01-11T10:15:00.000-06:002013-01-11T10:15:01.984-06:00Overeating IssueI'm pretty excited about how different this journey feels this year. I am taking as many moments as I can to consciously not look back. In the past, when I have had successful weight loss I've taken two approaches. The first time I had no intention of ever going back to eating too much. I was great at counting, and counted my points every day for 3 years as easy as breathing. I also excercised every day almost. Then we moved to Wisconsin, struggled emotionally and financially, our gym closed, and I had a few weeks of falling off track that ended with finding out I was pregnant- to which I responded by eating myself into oblivion. The deprivation I had endured for 3 years snowballed into this "spoiling" myself with whole pizzas and batches of cookies/cookie dough. There were some great things about my methods during the successful phase, like lightening up some great recipes (recipes long since gone), but overall, it wasn't a great balance, and it didn't work for real life. <br />
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The other times (twice more I have lost near 80-100 lbs) I always had this lingering idea that once I lost the weight I could go back to having dozens of cookies at Christmas, and eating too much in general. I told myself this was a permanent change, but left the possibility of overeating available, and took it once in while, usually spiraling into more and more overeating, and the weight all coming back. <br />
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This time, I my focus is entirely on pushing as far away from overeating as I can. I want to eliminate the overeating from my life completely. I am pushing myself to adapt the things I crave, and the amounts I crave. I'm adjusting the lense. I'm using the word "overeating," which I don't think I've ever acknowledged as a problem before. I just feel better about it. Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-80022469639580959832013-01-10T19:38:00.001-06:002013-01-10T19:38:39.857-06:00Love how this quotation from a Honda commercial of all places ties into my word of the year: "Things can always be better."Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-9713264227719008292013-01-10T07:00:00.000-06:002013-01-11T10:00:18.238-06:00One little word.So I've always admired this thing one of my favorite designers does. Ali Edwards does this "one little word" thing, where each year she chooses a word for the year. I've never tried it. I've intended to, maybe even selected a word, but never followed through. This year, I wanted to. I had it in the back of my mind. The night before last, as I was lying awake in bed unable to calm my mind the word just came to me. <br />
My word is PUSH. <br />
I'm going to push myself. <br />
Push to: <br />
Learn more. <br />
Be more. <br />
Make more. <br />
Love more. <br />
To listen. <br />
To admit I'm wrong. <br />
Be more present. <br />
Lose more weight. <br />
Be more active. <br />
Push myself not to get out of my comfort zone but expand that comfort zone to include places like longer trails, and the gym. Because I remember the gym used to be a nice comfortable place for me. I know it can be comfortable. <br />
I will not stop pushing myself this year.<br />
I have a book coming in the mail that is going to help me love ny child within. I will push myself to read this book, and let it change my life. <br />
I will not shame this woman in the picture, by telling her that her accomplishments losing 100 lbs and keeping it off for 3 years were not a waste, but a victory. I will promise her to do it again, but not just to be healthy, to change her life, and kiss this unhealthy way goodbye. <br />
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<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-FqLocGWlQ6g/UO7BTwCFjVI/AAAAAAAAlU4/HNpYZMqJk50/s1600/2013-01-09_09-53-07_847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-FqLocGWlQ6g/UO7BTwCFjVI/AAAAAAAAlU4/HNpYZMqJk50/s640/2013-01-09_09-53-07_847.jpg" /> </a></div>
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Photo from summer 2001, Catalina Island. My weight then about 160. Size 12. </div>
Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-38242690192739047602013-01-09T10:01:00.001-06:002013-01-11T09:59:37.784-06:00Once upon a time.I'm already 10.6 lbs down this year. This month I'm permitting myself to look back at the healthier years and remember the positive way I felt. For the past few years I have been telling myself I wasn't happy when I was smaller. This morning I'm admitting that is a lie that I tell myself in order to feel better. Truly going back to being as healthy as I once was is the only solution. I have mountains I want to climb, waterfalls I want to scale, things that I need to do to save my own life. I started counting my points 2 weeks ago and weighed in a whopping 309 pounds. I'm disgusted and motivated and ready to change my life. And I never want to look back.<br />
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<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-fpQ9jXXXlRI/UO2URinuHKI/AAAAAAAAlTQ/qxTTXXy9aCs/s1600/2013-01-09_09-55-20_487.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-fpQ9jXXXlRI/UO2URinuHKI/AAAAAAAAlTQ/qxTTXXy9aCs/s640/2013-01-09_09-55-20_487.jpg" /> </a></div>
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Photo from summer 2001. MY weight then was roughly 170lbs. Size 12-14. </div>
Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109094.post-14483635818999152922012-12-30T08:56:00.001-06:002012-12-30T08:56:40.252-06:00STILL Knitting!<p>I'm pretty amazed I am still getting regular sales this time of year. I am so, so happy to be knitting. This week I'm working on a set of scarves as bridal shower gifts, several made to order mint and pewter scarves, and by weekend I hope to working on a custom order blanket. Joys of winter! Here are some recent shots if my favorite spot in the house. </p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-LUKHHpasA3A/UOBWGAnttXI/AAAAAAAAlSU/DdffuRSfGfo/s1600/IMG_20121226_133241.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-LUKHHpasA3A/UOBWGAnttXI/AAAAAAAAlSU/DdffuRSfGfo/s640/IMG_20121226_133241.jpg' /> </a> </div><div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-3-rIEiWtcPY/UOBWJTagN4I/AAAAAAAAlSc/1bWxHvtvB_4/s1600/IMG_20121226_133739.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-3-rIEiWtcPY/UOBWJTagN4I/AAAAAAAAlSc/1bWxHvtvB_4/s640/IMG_20121226_133739.jpg' /> </a> </div>Jamie Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15191082277688840852noreply@blogger.com0